Loss-t
by L.E-Rae
Summary: Laurens has lost everything. Or at least, something so big, he cannot see the happiness in anything anymore... A year later, nothing has changed. The numbness within him overtakes more often than not. But to him- he is weak. Pathetic. Little does he know, he is just lost. Lost and waiting for someone to lead him into the light again. Lams, Spy AU. Also, Angst Mystery /Discontinued/
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

 **(Laurens's POV)**

The door clicked behind me and I let out a long sigh. Of what? I couldn't process... The tight, black suit was stuck to my partially burned flesh and I peeled it away to reveal bare skin. Bullet wounds. Reopened scars. Scolded skin. A shattered heart. It was all there.

Being a higher rank, leader of a squadron, I had the 'privilege' of having the first shower. Though I minimised it down to five minutes exact. The water and boiler in this place was easily run down so I made sure everyone I was in charge of had a good chance to properly clean themselves. Unfortunately, other squadron leaders weren't all so generous... Take Charles Lee. He spends around 18 minutes in the shower so the water runs out quickly for the others. _Ass_.

With a few squeaks of resistance, the shower wheel turned to a setting of cooler water (something else I did to make sure everyone else had a better clean). Without waiting for it to warm a little, I stepped underneath it, relishing underneath its heavy sprays. Before I had a good chance to open my eyes, the white potted floor was already drenched in blood... I couldn't care less. It stung, yes, though the sting was rewarding. Plus it wasn't the main thing to hurt that night... my chest felt incredibly tighter... almost _shattered_ if that...

I couldn't risk to wait any longer than a few seconds for the droplets to absorb into the thick strands of brown (almost ginger) curls. Despite the weight of water drenching the hair, the ringlets still had a resemblance somewhere in the dense forest. A small amount of shampoo created a puddle on the palm of my hand which I then applied to different zones of my scalp. _Thirty seconds in_. Before rinsing it out, I examined my wounds. My left calf- battered in shades of blue to purple... The right side of my waist- bleeding constant gushes of blood from three grazes of what must have been bullet wounds. In the crook of my left neck- dagger stabs... _many_ dagger stabs... I couldn't see my face, though the immense throb pulsating from different places about its fleshy structure, told me how bad I was beat up... _Very_ , would be my answer... The last place my eyes scanned was my wrist and forearms, full of scratches, grazed and small cuts from the derby scattered about the battle grounds. Though around my wrist, four hair ties wrapped themselves like cobras around my veins... this I liked to call my 'secret-suffer'... I had to stop slitting my wrists years ago so I needed a way to calm down the pain... hair ties did the job... They stopped my blood circulation and caused a sore mark to imprint in a band around my flesh when they were removed. I would simply swap them around to my other hand before grabbing tweezers and pinching at the tender skin bellow... But tonight I didn't have time... I swapped them but didn't extend the pain farther, I had more pressing matters to deal with. The shampoo on my hair rinsed out quickly and precisely which was soon replaced with a strong conditioner. During this, I washed my body and cleaned the wounds to the best I could at that moment. The reason all these cleaning products were so strong was most likely because we could only properly wash after a mission... Well... That was the only time _I_ took a full shower. Other times I would either clean in the small sink in my bunk or, rinse for less than a minute underneath the nozzle I stood now. _Three minutes, forty-two seconds_.

Suds that swarmed in the streams of water made a glossy layer upon my naked eyes, stinging with pin pricks. I couldn't care less. It was soothing...

I cleaned the shower floor as best I could before jumping out to wrap a now red towel around my body. _Four minutes, thirty-one seconds_. I whipped my plain clothes on, picked up my ear piece and walked along the halls with a completely blank face. _Five minutes, zero four seconds_. I was over my limit. _Dammit_.

Many people looked my way in sympathy, I just walked forward ignoring their whispers.

I could feel my shirt being warmly sodden... not because of the water... it was red... I couldn't care less.

The door to my bunk clicked behind me and I let out a long sigh. Of what? _Hurt... Emotional_ hurt...

Another 'perk' of being a leader was the fact that I had a room to myself. There were two beds (for a strange reason I wasn't sure of), a desk, a wardrobe and a small bathroom (which just included a toilet and a sink).

Dropping my blood sodden suit in a basket, I staggered over to a small first aid kit in the metal wardrobe. I knew I should really go to the medical bay but I didn't want to see anyone at that moment... or ever again... Plus, others were much more damaged than I was... _physically_... I used up all the bandages on my battered being though I managed to limit out the antiseptic to my burns of which I added cold tap water. Not the best, but it would have to do. I didn't have the energy to care about myself.

My dull eyes brought me to slump down to my thin bedsheets. I didn't get under them. I didn't even use my pillow. I just traced the scratches engraved in the ceiling above. I couldn't care less.

My pupils darted about the room looking for an answer I didn't have a question for. My mind was foggy with complete darkness. The only things that seemed to light up were memories of him. His tear sprung eyes... His blood drenched body... His heart piercing shrills... The way his hand clenched around my own... tighter... _tighter_...

 _"Stay with me... come on... come on... stay alive... for me... for everyone... you can do it... stay with me... s... st... stay... please... p... please... stay... I can't do this without you... I... stay... please..."_

Limp. No more grip. No tears down my paling cheeks. No muffled cry. Not even water _attempting_ to prick at my eyes. At that point I couldn't hear the gun shots... the other shouts for medics... the explosions... Only a shatter from my chest... that shatter still splintering against my ear drums even now... Even though he wasn't there anymore...

"L... Laurens?" Laf's thick French accent stuttered through my metal door, no doubt with Mulligan stood next to him. I didn't reply. "We know you're in there..." His voice rich with pleads... "Laurens..."

"Agent Lafayette. Agent Mulligan. Report back to your bunks." I croaked still burning holes to the ceiling.

"Laurens-" Lafayette again.

"Leave. That's an order."

He sighed deeply. "Yes Sir."

They were both good friends of mine, but I was a higher rank. I still had control over them though didn't use that power very often, only when I needed to, I did. This was one of those times.

My heart wanted me to be alone despite my mind yelling that it would have been best to let them in. I was just too numb. He was the only one I wanted by my side... my best friend... my lover... who wasn't there...

The cranium floating about my head hurt with mist and unclear thoughts. Except for the one I wish would destroy or self explode. It was too much energy.

The low quality bandages were already full and leaking... I couldn't care less... Let me bleed out... Let me join him... Let me die... right here... right now... on these dull sheets... Make those sheets more vibrant with the rich tone of my blood... I couldn't care any less... _Reward_ me. I _**dare**_ you.

Heavily with reluctance, my eyes closed weakly to succumb to sleep... but the thoughts still stabbed at my minds never blind eye. I may or may not wake up in the morning. And one of those options seemed more desirable by the second...

His own dying eyes pierced me even though he wasn't there by my side...

Though with that... I couldn't care _more_...

 **Authors Note: Okay, so I don't usually do a Prologue but this one needed it x **

**It was quite rushed and vague but... here it is?**

 **Yeah, the next one will be here soon and better (hopefully... no promises!)**

 **Leave a review as they mean so much to me!!!! :D**

 **-L.E-Rae _x_**


	2. Chapter 1- Blood Splater

**Chapter 1- Blood Splatter...**

 **(Laurens' POV)**

"Oh, and Mulligan, don't do anything stupid. Your job is to take out the guards. Lafayette is the one to spy and exicute the mission. I will come if needed." I ordered in the monotone voice I usually used now.

"Yes Sir." I could tell that he was rolling his eyes from the other end of the radio but I never said a word. Plus the fact that I could see everything Lafayette saw only confirmed it.

"Okay..." I began to examine their surroundings, "Take the first right but slip in the side door 3 meters from the first beam."

Immediately, they obeyed.

"Alright," I never used the need for compliments, "above you is a vent. Climb it. And drop out at the first exit on only my command."

"Yes Sir." They both chimed completing the orders.

Through the microphones attached the the collar of the tight black suit, the trampling if their heavy thuds against the metal made me wince quietly. Inside the van of which I was crouched, the screen blared it's bright, crystal-blue glow against the sensitive cells controlling my sight. The metal vehicle didn't just hold me however, eight men and four women crowded together, dressed in the same clingy uniform. Every mouth was closed, not daring to let out anything but a breath. Occasionally a shuffle was made but nothing too loud. Only my commands were heard clearly, but not too detectable if the enemy were standing at the side of the black, pressed steel engaging us all.

"Keep you steps lighter men! I swear to god that they could hear you from Australia!" I over exaggerated rolling my eyes to the back of my skull. Some of the immature boys sat five seats away from me sniggered lightly but were instantly shut up by the fellow agents before I had to pick at them.

"Oh stop with the emphasis Laurens!" Mulligan laughed lightly, keeping his voice to a low.

"Stationary." Lafayette reported just above the exit to the vent.

"Hold." I replied already checking surrounding cameras for the enemy... The Banes. Exactly like the name. Distressing. Destructive. And most of all, annoying as hell.

The _Bane_ of our existence... The Liberty's.

Each camera I attacked within an one hundred metre radius was... too easy to get into... too easy to hack and recode... And the image performed on it was... _way_ too desolate...

Too good to be real.

Almost as if it wasn't real _at all_.

"Waiting for command Laurens." Lafayette muttered from the other end of the line. Like a loyal agent would do, he waited for around half a minute before repeating back his statement, "Laurens, awaiting your comman-"

"Hush." I abruptly cut off. Even despite Lafayette's respect towards me, I never return the favour. And I didn't even shed guilt. This was about getting the job done, _not_ caring for others feelings. If all went well tonight... we might get a step closer to winning this thing... a step closer to avenging him...

"I'm sorry Sir, though, I don't see any danger. I presume all the camera's say so?" And for once, the tallest agent spoke against my command.

"Yes but it's all too easy." I squinted my eyes closer to the screen, trying to see something, but I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for...

"How so Sir?" Mulligan spoke a little louder giving me the same wince.

"The cameras have weak security, there are barely any guards and they are about 143 metres away from the target. It doesn't seem right for the Banes... Especially for their General..." My voice low as if I were actually there with them.

They both hummed in agreement- Mulligan also with slight annoyance. Around me in the dark van, you could hear a few mild murmurs of unsureness though they were instantly cut short by my glare. For a few more moments I continued to tap vigorously at the illuminated keys.

Trying to break the tension, Mulligan tried to crack an unnecessary joke, "Well, it is a Sunday, maybe they had the day off? Being hard-core jerks can take its toll on folk!"

I let my eyes roll at his attempted humour and the fact how Lafayette and the other agents around me bit back a laugh.

"Mulligan?" I sternly sighed.

"Yes Sir?"

"Shut up."

"Yes Sir." He pouted back even more annoyed than before.

My lungs released a sigh which made me lean my head back to the wall in disbelief. I closed my eyes longer than I should and thought. Whenever I was in these situations he would always come to mind. I deeply think about what his cheeky words would say.

Heh, if I was honest, he would most likely crack a joke too... and I would laugh... Or smile and roll my eyes at the least. Mulligan had _just_ done the same thing however... it didn't seem right coming from him... Only _he_ would make me smile in a time like this. Even just seeing his face again instead of a paining memory would light up this black canvas cascading around the hunk of metal we sat in. And it wasn't just me. _Everybody_ loves his company. Even that ass _Charles Lee_ would chuckle now and again at his statements. So trust me, _that_ was an achievement all in its self!

I sighed again still with my eyes stapled shut. Lafayette murmured something completely pointless to Mulligan. His ideas were sometimes logical but this one was not however. Instead of zoning back in, I took my right hand down to my left wrist and began to swap the tight hair-ties to rub harshly at the tender flesh below. The pain helped me think. _Physical_ that was. I couldn't bare to think about his playful face any longer. It was too distracting from the task at hand.

Work now. Think for him later.

"Okay this is what we're gonna do." I started, reopening my eyes and adjusting my ear piece. "Lafayette. Mulligan. You will drop out here on my command. Carry on as needed."

"Yes Sir." They both shuffled in the vent, ready to drop.

"Now, I will send out 5 armed agents to follow your movements if or _when_ anything occurs." I shuffled up a little straighter before directing my attention back to the group of people around me. "Agents' 5, 4, 3, 2 and 7- grab your gear."

"Yes Sir." They stood to attention in unison while reaching to the shelves above from where they sat.

"Are you ready men? We don't know what's going to happen and I can't trust the security cameras. All I have to go on is Lafayette's eye-piece." I stated while loading the camera back to Lafayette's sight.

"Well do we really have an say in this?" Mulligan chuckled and ginning at the camera.

"No not really." I tried to keep a straight face- winning the fight. Not because I found his sarcasm amusing, no, it was the fact that that was definitely something _he_ would say. But he wasn't here. And my stabbing memories only confirmed it.

As if I shrugged off his comment I gave a hand signal to the five, armed figures standing at the door who instantly departed to the outside world. "Okay men. On three you drop down and keep your weapons at hand. Alright... one... two..." I waited a few more seconds before feeling completely confident...

"Three."

In less than a second, the two men hurried along the marble floors stopping and checking at each corner before carrying on the process. Just to be precautious, I got the rest of the men and women inside the van to equip all their gear and standing alert at the door. I too reached for my gear and slipping it to all the right places. Nobody spoke a word during all this. All that was heard other than slight shuffling was the constant, "Hold. Check. Clear." From Lafayette as he and Mulligan paced through the hallways in the exact directions I had given to them. Every few seconds I would check back to the map from Lafayette's vision but still staying silent for nearly all of it.

The other squad I had sent out never spoke but I did still check back to them and the camera. If anything, the two views were almost exactly the same... Quiet...

"Stationary." Lafayette whispered from the other line facing the sight of an ominous, over-looming prison door... Completely sealed...

"Alright then." I took a deep breath and began to swiftly tap in passcodes on the laptop in front of me. "Lafayette, you know what to do."

The mentioned man nodded and walked up to an ominous, titanium door with a small keypad on the left-hand side. From the pocket in his suit, he removed a tiny microchip and professionally manoeuvred it into a firm position.

"Sending code your way, Laurens." He reported tapping into a device on his wrist.

"Received." I called back hearing a _"beep"_ arise from the edge of my own arm. Instantly, it downloaded the data to a fresh page on the larger screen in front of me.

No... This was too easy... _Way_ to easy... They don't just leave an important door so open to attack!

This was _way_ too risky. I couldn't risk my men's life for this. Even if it was to avenge _him_... I'm sure he wouldn't want me to hurt his best friend's in the process... And even though I didn't treat those two with the respect they deserve, I could see them any harm. I just couldn't... Not again...

"Retreat." I snapped far too quickly.

"What?" Mulligan called through with a flat voice.

"You heard me. Retreat." I gritted my teeth.

"Why?" Lafayette this time.

"It's too easy! I can't risk your lives for something we could so easily replan. I said, retreat."

"Laurens," Lafayette tried to plead, "we've got this far, I'm sure we can handle whatever is in there-"

And like always, I was right. _Far_ too easy. From their right, four heavily armed Banes came storming through the end of the corridor. I never looked back at the computer screen before grabbing extra equipment to arm me better. My voice ricocheted about the thick metal startling all the troops here with me.

"Move!"

Following my lead, the men and women stormed through the halls taking out every Bane we came across without any mercy. Fresh blood splattered around the halls and all over our already sweating bodies.

"Okay, hurry to the destined coordinates!" I yelled to all the other agents with me and the troop of five on the second line of my earpiece.

Our pace never ceased through the winding corridors. Never ceasing if one our own were shot to the floor...

 _ **Agent 10... Dead upon mission 'Micro'.**_

Every single one of us knew we couldn't give a second glance... or even a first glance... The point wasn't to mourn. It was to complete the objective. And damn how I had messed this up.

"Mulligan. Lafayette. Do you read?" I called to them picking up a faster pace when I never got an answer... "Agent Mulligan. Agent Lafayette. Do you read?" Nothing but gunshots...

 _Gunshots meant they were still alive... They wouldn't be shooting at Nothing... or at least **one** of them were alive..._

"Crap!" I muttered sharply, twisting around bends and shooting bullets when needed.

Then another one...

 **Agent 6... Dead upon mission 'Micro'...**

Reluctantly, without really much of a choice, I tapped a personally hated number into my earpiece, unfortunate enough to know it off by heart...

"Hello, Lee speaking."

Charles freaking Lee.

"Calling for back-up." I frowned slightly hesitant, shooting another bullet to my left.

"Ah yes, Laurens, what sort of a mess have you gotten yourself into this time?" I could hear the smirk lacing his tone.

God I hated him.

"I won't tell you again, I _command_ for back-up."

"Well, since you asked so nicely... Agents! Gear up!"

In a calmer situation, I would have retorted back with a snarky comment but there was way too much at risk now. Bullets... Bloodshed... Yells... Screeches... They all swam into each other, merging and combining into a new poison. As if blocked by waves of water, all the racket screaming at my eardrums were muffled helping me focus on the centre of a Banes skull.

 _Blood splatter..._

Aim...

 _Blood splatter..._

Shoot...

Blood splatter...

Trigger...

Blood splatter...

Stab...

Blood splatter... Blood splatter...

The thick, hot, metallic liquid spattered in my face in a leopard print way, drooling lines down my face. If anything, this made me more alert and aware of the situation following me. I only once used my sleeve to wipe away bloody dye, smearing down my right cheek, along with crusting a few stray hairs as well.

At the start of when I became Captain, the Banes were complete amateurs. There was _nothing_ special about them. One of our agents could most likely take down three of theirs _alone_. But then, if I was honest, they were much more experienced in the technical aspect of this, and I guess that was why we never had a chance to invade them. So because they could barely fight, they couldn't exactly attack us either.

But that was _many_ years ago. Now both sides were a lot smarter in our weaknesses. Both sides almost as strong as each other... Though, at the moment, _we_ were winning. Winning and ahead in this violent game.

Sprinting through a pool of human remains (either diminished by an explosion, gun or knife-slice), I constantly yelled orders to the squad I had sent out earlier through my radio, while also attempting to reach Lafayette or Mulligan somewhere within this massacre. My thoughts remained collected though somewhat slightly panicked (if that combination was even allowed). Lafayette and Mulligan still never replied, but the gunshots on the other end kept up their shots. I kept having to remind myself that it meant that at the least one of the two were alive. One of them were fighting... One of them were alive...

"Lafayette! Mulligan! Do you hear me?!" I called shoving away the mild fright on my tone.

If someone were to shoot me now, I couldn't care less. Though if you inflicted that on one of my friends or even someone I _remotely_ care about, it would matter the world to me. I couldn't care _more_...

Still no response.

Lee should be catching up soon, and as much as I loathed this guy, I couldn't help but feel slight gratitude for his help. Not because I _liked_ him! No, because we needed the extra backup. Trust me, if there was any other way than calling Lee, then I would do it. But the fact that Angeler and Burr's squad already had assignments, ticked them right off my help list. Besides, unfortunately, Lee's squad were actually the second best... so I guess that would give us the upper hand.

In the Liberty's, we have four main squadrons: Mine (Alpha Squad): Lee's (Saturn Squad): Angeler's (Hunter Squad): and Burr's (Luna Squad). The names of the squads meant nothing, they were simply just names given to us when our agency was first formed.

My squad was the most skilled then it went down to Lee, then Angeler and then Burr. Just because I was at the top though, didn't mean that the others weren't skilled- no. Far from it. Each of them had talent and did their job very well (and even though I hated to admit the same for Lee... it was true, he just treated his agents with little to no respect).

Soon after many bullets and many shattered skulls, we eventually ran into Lee. Such a highlight to my day. Especially the part when I mistakenly pulled my gun to his forehead, thankfully not pulling the trigger.

"Jesus!" He exclaimed stumbling a few steps backwards in shock, "Calm it Laurens!"

I just rolled my eyes and took the weapon down to my hips, exchanging it for a pouch of pills instead.

"Here." I bluntly stated, handing out a deep purple shaded, poison pill towards Lee. "Take it if they catch you."

He sniggered but grabbed it anyway. "Catch _me_? As if!"

I rolled my eyes once more walking past him and ushering my squad to follow down the halls.

"So... no apology for pointing a gun to my temple? Nothing? Fine then." He rolled his eyes back in return, copying my commands to his own squad.

Muttering lightly underneath my breath I sighed, "Jesus, your almost as snarky as Mulligan." Obviously I was joking. Mulligan was extremely stubborn and quite annoying on occasion though that was nothing compared to all Lee was. An ass.

"...Hey... You did know the line is still open, right?"

 _Mulligan..._

 _Mulligan!_

"Mulligan! What happened?!"

"Well firstly we all sat down and played a game of cards while sipping tea and telling jokes to each other- no, what do you think happened?!"

Normally I would have snapped back at him though the complete relief his voice gave me, shut up that tart side of my mind.

"How's Lafayette?"

"Oh... erm... other than a bullet to the shoulder he's alright..."

My stomach dropped unnecessarily. Things liked this happens all the time in this line of work! I needed to seriously get a grip and stop being a weirdo.

"Oh, I dare you say that to my face Mulligan! _'he's alright'_ my ass!" Lafayette retorted muffled by the distance he must have been away from the microphone.

"Pleasure to hear your voice Lieutenant." I chuckled while approaching just three more corners away.

"Oh, I bet." I could almost hear the French-mans eyes roll.

"Okay men, enough with the jokes, what happened?" I asked a lot sterner this time around.

"Well," Lafayette called a little clearer through my earpiece, "the Banes arrived and ambushed us. Mulligan never had his headset in and mine must have fallen out somewhere. But that Squad of Banes held some right bitches! By the way, that extra squad you sent came and helped finish them off, seriously, they need like an extra serving at breakfast or something!" Without really much surprise, I could hear that same squad chuckle out some faint laughter, "And I got shot!"

"Don't try to blame this on me! I told the two of you to leave and you both disobeyed. So really, that's your fault." I huffed now arriving around the second corner, spotting their own blood painted bodies standing out vibrantly near a mountain of lifeless bodies.

"Yeah, whatever." Mulligan scoffed, rudely not making eye contact. "Wait. You brought Lee?"

"I didn't exactly have a choice! Neither of you were responding and Jesus Christ, there are _way_ too many Banes." My eyes shot the two unamused daggers trying ignore the fact that Lee stood exactly next to me, listening to all the crap I spat about him.

"Love you too Laurens." The devil spoke nudging me hard in the ribs.

I rolled my eyes and shoved away the other Commander, "Look, we all need to stop fooling around. There are going to be so many Banes here soon. We could only hold them off for so long."

"Okay then... what do you propose?" Lafayette questioned, gritting his teeth together while he stood up gripping his damaged shoulder tighter.

"Lee, you and your Squad will be attack and my Squad will be defence. Lafayette and Mulligan will help me in and out of the cell but once we return with whatever's in there, all of us need to flee as quickly as possible."

Everybody hummed in agreement while saluting to each other on respect.

"Let's do this Captain." Mulligan smirked getting ready to sprint back to the direction of door.

"Go."

With my simple words the three of us ran off (even Lafayette), twisting down many corners and side rooms, passing through offices and sanitary food halls. Down these halls, there was barely any splatters of gore and neither any trace of damaged architecture. Lafayette with his pained shoulder was bleeding less than average though was still making him wince with every sudden turn, jolt or jump we had to make, slimly sliding down the newly polished floors.

Once the door finally came back into view, it wasn't really hard to miss. A tall, ominously deadly looking, titanium hunk if metal practically glared at us through imaginary eyes or maybe the cameras surrounding it. Now usually, we would have time to take out the cameras though the Banes already knew we were here and what we were here for- so it was completely pointless.

"Right," I started meanwhile examining the coded keypad firmly joined to the right on the wall, "Laf, do you still have that Microchip?"

"Erm... yes but... you can't use it unless you have your laptop."

"Yes, but it can somewhat weaken the signal as well."

"I'm not really sure where you're going with this, Sir, but... sure... Here it is." My seconder reached down to his pocket pulling out a device that to most people, simply looked like a strip of chewing gum.

There was no time for thanks. Or

sympathy or pity for the bleeding man using the wall for support constantly. Mulligan instantly stepped out of the way of the keypad of which he was examining earlier, though there was no point for him. In the nicest way possible, he had no knowledge in this area of work so, like I said, it was pointless.

Taking out a glistening knife from the leather belt, wrapped tightly around my waist, I steadily lowered down to the top right corner before slitting over the surface of the weaker part of metal. It squeaked and shivered through me like finger nails to a chalk board. For about ten swipes over the metal, it was resilient and showed much resistance towards the grunting blades skidding over it. Until it finally managed to chip off fragments of the material eventually leaving a slight gap between the keys.

Instantly, my hands fumbled for the chip and the purple 'kill-pill' we used if we were ever captured... we couldn't risk anything...

"Lafayette. Mulligan. Do you have water? Or any liquid if that?"

But I didn't get the response I needed...

Shoot...

 _Blood splatter..._

Bullets...

 _Blood splatter..._

Explosion...

 _Blood splatter... Blood splatter..._

 ** _Crap..._**

 _They were here..._

"Hurry men!" I yelled gesturing violently towards the door. They had heard the echoing gunshots too and for a moment were completely frozen to their spot in the slowly dimming hallway...

"I... I... Yes, Sir." Lafayette stuttered reaching down for a dark flask and gently swilling it around before handing it back to me. "But why? I know the chip is reactive but water is neutral. Neither acid or alkali."

I gave a slight chuckle for an unnecessary reason setting all the equipment aside, "Yes but the pill is acid. And as we've all learned- acid overrules alkali. Though the drug is only reactive with liquid hence killing us with contact with either our saliva or adding to our stomach acid."

He smirked after forming a slight, "oh", with his lips. Though that smile was instantly dropped when the gunshots started nearing closer towards our door...

Goddammit Lee! You were meant to be keeping them back!

Shutting off my interactions with the men, my body instantly swung round to slight hole I formed in the first place. But when I meant slight... I _meant_ slight. Getting the three ingredients into this gap was going to be a challenge, the liquid more than the solid and the poison.

Taking a deep breath and switching the ties on my wrist, I started action. Firstly with the challenge of the liquid. Thankfully for me, the pill and the chip didn't need much to react together so I only needed something slightly wet... I could even get away with damp... So with that thought, I cut away some of the material around my ankle before dipping it thoroughly into the water flask and dropping the fabric back into that hole I carved into earlier. With my last pill, I crunched it into powder and sprinkled it down into the keypad.

I could hear the fizz.

"Lafayette," I spoke examining the tiny chip in my fingertips, "you have activated this, right?"

He nodded clearly, having his eyes dart back and forth between me and the gunshots ringing towards us.

"Good."

Squeezing it tightly in my thumb and forefinger, I shoved it through the gap and hastily stood back with the other two nearing the wall.

I didn't want to admit it but, I had never actually done that experiment before... It was a 'hit and miss' sort of thing... Though the the chemical aspect to it seemed logical so I had presumed it would have worked... and I was not disappointed...

The purple fog huffed out the keypad like smoke from a sleeping dragons nose or, a steam train. Making satisfying clicks and hisses while it began to spark with electrics more viciously. The numbers and lights from the door and password tablet flashed at irregular rates before completely shutting down on themselves.

The three of us just grinned devilishly. We had done this... well... almost... We still had to go in and head back to base alive. Though that was easier said than done...

Giving slight glances to the other, we all took daring steps forward towards this ominous door which now was open... if only a crack...

"Do we even know what's in there?" Mulligan asked with an expression somewhat in awe.

"No. Only that it will help us with figuring out what they're up to." I took a deep breath, "So let's do this men."

As if the opportunity could be taken away at any moment, I snatched open the door and couldn't actually believe my eyes... I had to blink twice. Then again. And again. And repeating the process constantly.

In this room, it was dull. Grey. Dim. Fusty. No trace of light anywhere except for the beacon trickling in from the doorway we stood in. On first glance I didn't actually see the proper, _thing_ , we were looking for. For starters, I let my gaze drift along the furniture but... really bad furniture... A rusting sink, a table without a chair, a small toilet and an unstable looking bed with crimped sheets dropped on the floor beside it. Secondly, the next thing I let my eyes drift to wasn't what I wanted to look at... Trails of blood. A little like skid marks or... like something trying to crawl away... But the third glance was the winner. Huddled in utter terror in the far left corner was a boy. Or a man. It was quite hard to tell... Around him was draped wet, red sheets though something told me that red wasn't supposed to be its original colour...

His whole figure was a mess. His long, thick, deep, brown hair was completely wild and stiff with moisture while it clinched to his pale skin, stretched tightly around his thin figure. He wore brown rags that were literally falling apart so it seemed the blanket he tightly hugged around him was maybe a substitute for clothing.

Despite the fact I had been running and slaughtering my way through this place and my temperature was very hot, the chill emerging heavily from this room was definitely noticeable. So that poor boy/man in the corner must have been almost frozen.

"My god... Are you sure this- he- is what we came for?" Mulligan question trailing his eyes all over this broken figure.

"I guess so..." Half with it, and half not, I made my way towards the male with gaping eyes. He was weak and he knew it. Even confiding himself farther into a ball was a struggle. "Shh..." I began, crouching next to him, tentatively reaching out a hand, "We're not here to hurt you."

Somewhere in his eyes he doubted my words, though in a situation like his... I don't particularly blame him...

"We're the Liberty's. I'm Cpt. Laurens and those two are my men: Agt. Mulligan and Lt. Lafayette. I don't need your say in whether you want to come or not but your cooperation would be helpful."

"L... Laurens? M... Mulligan? L-Lafayette?" He squeaked with his voice acting like it hadn't been used in a long time... or used far too much in shouting or screaming...

I shuddered.

"Yes... That's us... Now, I need you to stand up for me. Can you do that?"

His large pupils trailed down to the blankets encasing him to the floor and started to look doubtful of himself. "I... no... I can't stand..."

"Can you try?"

"No, your wasting time, it's pointless."

Deciding not to argue I stood up instead and walked back towards Mulligan and Lafayette (the two still in shock).

"Mulligan." I started, signalling him towards the exit, "How far off are the Banes?"

"I don't know. Ask your buddy Lee."

I sighed with anger and had bitten my tung to stop with a cruel retort. "Lafayette. Since Mulligan can't do as he's told, how far away do you think they are?"

"Around two minutes, Sir."

"And is that with the estimated time Lee can hold them off?"

He nodded. "Oui."

I had to be the calm one in this situation, even if inside I was beginning to worry. Turning back around to face the boy/man, he was drifting from consciousness steadily with head-bobs and slowed breathing.

"How bad are your injuries?" I asked directing attention back to him.

"Bad."

"Explain."

"They're bad, okay? There's not anymore to say."

 _Blunt..._

"Alright then... Can you move at all?"

"What do you think?"

Pause.

"Look..." He began, wincing slightly with his words, "You don't need me... I'm useless and I probably won't make past the next hour so... Just leave... I'm not sure what I mean to you anyway..."

"Well..." I softly spoke back, slightly damaged by his words, "we don't know what you mean to us either really... Though we were sent to get you... so you must mean something..."

I left out the part that he was held hostage here with the Banes, so they too needed him for something... Though bringing that back up to him may trigger something nasty... and that would be the last thing we needed...

"Sir," Lafayette came forward still eyeing up this figure, "they're almost here."

I hummed in understanding, reaching down for my pistol hanging from my belt.

"Mulligan, leave and head up to Lee. Lafayette, I need your tranquilliser."

"Yes, Sir." Both, chimed in unison.

"Okay little guy, this is going to hurt a little but not as much if you didn't have it."

He gulped hard before nervously nodding his head.

Taking the injection from Lafayette, I never waited a moment before jamming it down into the boy's neck. He coughed before letting his large eyes drop closed and falling limper into the sheets.

"Lafayette, you meet Mulligan up the hall. I will be there soon."

"Yes Sir."

Blending in with the gunshots, Lafayette's footsteps retreated up the corridor as I hastily bent down to rest this boy/man in my arms. His weight and height was much alike to a late teenage boy however compared to his build and face, it seemed like he was in his early to mid twenties. Still, his mass was worryingly light... Almost like there was no body, and just the blankets...

"Laurens, we tried to keep them off but there heading your way. Have you got what we needed?" Lee broke through on the other end, panting moderately fast.

"Yes. Just get your squad out. There's nothing else you can do."

"Okay."

"Before you depart, get my squad to head farther to me. This hint we got, may be more valuable than we first thought..."

"Okay then. Lee out." The line clicked short.

With not another second left to spare, I sprinted back up the hallways, retracing every step that was originally made. The tranquilliser was fast pace in working, however, it took a while to fully put his figure at ease... He was paralysed except on the inside could most likely still feel agony from his moving bones, only expressed to me in muffled groans. I didn't pay attention. I just had to get him out of here... along with my Squad I still hoped was alive...

Taking not too long to show up, I delt with a few Banes before finally reaching the centre of my group. Barking commands furiously at the men and women, they proceeded back the way we came.

Lafayette was the last to stay behind, reaching to his waist with his good arm, pulling up some sort of metal bomb and launching back towards the enemy soldiers- leaving only our memory inside its clouding smoke...

 **Authors Note: Sorry this took so long but I have been ill for a week so cut me some slack! (Seriously, I slept for 14 hours straight)**

 **I am surprised how long this chapter is! I don't know the word count get but it seems quite long when I read it back to myself! But what does my opinion mean when I'd much rather hear it from you!**

 **Please leave your reviews!!!**

 **-L.E-Rae _x_**


	3. Chapter 2- All My Fault

Chapter 2- All My Fault...

 **(Laurens' POV)**

"What do you mean 'you drugged him'?!"

I stood, cowering slightly at her words, "I mean, I tranquillised him... Though... it didn't take effect straight away..."

"My go-"

"Elizler, you had to have been there! There were too many to waste any time in waiting for it to take effect!"

She sighed and put her head in her hands, "I know, I know, I just... This just gives me a lot more work to do..."

"But will he be okay?"

"We'll see... Lafayette is on for recovery but the bodies of Agents 10 and 6 couldn't be retrieved..."

"...Okay... Is Lafayette open to visitors?"

"Well... not normally but he refuses to sleep. So... sure. You can go. He's in room 26z, conscious and pissed."

I hummed in understanding. "But make sure you inform me straight away once he's awake, yes? You do understand how valuable he is to us..."

"Yeah, yeah! Now leave! You don't want to get on my bad side!" She ushered me away, tying back the thick, night, black of her silky strands.

"Aren't I already on your bad side?" I chuckled parting closer to the door way.

"Hmm... You just might be..." She muttered in a deadly tone before fitting herself into the blue, surgeon, scrubs.

Throughout most of the base, you couldn't see true daylight. Our long hallways and towering stairways were all lit by electric lights strung to the ceiling. The only way you could really connect with the outside world was with a clock, or going outside to the training yard. But I wasn't heading outside today. So a clock would have to do...

03:55am

Well, that was a surprise. Though, living down here without your natural sundial constantly at work, can mess you up sometimes. I wasn't tired this time though... Despite the energy I had used along with the trauma I had witnessed this day, I don't think my mind could fit in the queer thought of sleep...

Strange...

People still trudged about these halls in the night. Mainly night guards and late workers on the usual occasion. Although tonight, it seems I wasn't the only one who rejected the idea of sleep...

Not as busy as the day but still gaining an aura of rush, figures scattered with their own jobs in mind while I still trudged towards room, 26z. The foreseen door soon wrapping into my view.

Continuing the habit of swapping the hairbands to reveal hot, sore flesh, I knocked three times hearing an angered grumble from the other side. So I stepped in.

 _Jesus,_ I thought to myself, _Elizler wasn't kidding about him being pissed..._

"Hey, Laf..." I began, perching back-to-front on a spare chair beside him.

"Hello there, Laurens! How are you this fine morning?" He mocked joy which was somewhat amusing in a cruel way.

"Hmmf. Elizler said you'd be pissed."

"Did she now? I wonder where she got that crazy idea from..." The tall man rolled his eyes.

"Are you doing okay? And don't be sarcastic, please. I've had enough of that from Lee and Mulligan today."

He breathed a chuckle from his nose, repositioning himself beneath the sheets. "I'll be okay."

"Speaking of, has Mulligan visited yet?"

"Yeah, about ten minutes ago. He went to grab a snack. I don't know if he'd be combing back."

I nodded my head and scooted closer to the man, examining his injury thoroughly.

"When will you be out?" I asked, still gazing at the bandage.

"Elizler said either tomorrow or the next day. I'll have to keep off training for a couple of weeks though."

"Any medication?"

"Just some penicillin. Four a day, four hours apart with an empty stomach. It's simple. Tastes like burned toast though... What's with that?"

We both chuckled, Lafayette's humour stronger than mine.

"What's happening with the guy we rescued?" He asked, again shifting his weight.

"Well... Elizler's gonna try and fix him up. But... she's pretty pissed at me for not letting the tranquilliser set in properly before moving him..."

He sucked in a sharp breath, like I had sent a jab to his stomach. "Laurens, you know how bad that can mess someone up!"

"I know, I know... I didn't have anytime though! It was all just too rushed... The gun shots... The blood... Agent Darwin and Kojo dead... I couldn't think Laf... It was all too much... f-far too much..."

By the end of the sentence, my voice ended up shockingly small, recalling and feeding my guilt. It was almost never that I let others see me weak... It was quite nerve wracking to be honest... The only other I would ever cry into was _him_... But he wasn't here anymore... I had to remind myself of that... I couldn't let others see my pain... It just wasn't right...

 _Shut up Laurens! Shut up! The only one who cares is gone! Now let it be!_

"L-Laurens...?" Lafayette croaked somewhere far away... gradually echoing closer to me. "Are you okay?"

I blinked a few times, tracing the red lines around my wrist, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little beaten up I gues-"

"No." He snapped, but not harshly as most would expect... It held a feel of sympathy... I'd much rather the former... "You know what I mean."

He was right. And I was not okay. Whirlwinds and wild fires scorched or flogged my insides without anybody knowing nearly everyday I lived. But despite every scratch, bruise, burn or scar I received from a battle, it would never compare to the emotional agony my body now learned to live off... like it was a key-point on my survival...

I could never tell anybody this though. My emotions were my own concern down here. And despite how much I even attempted to tell myself not everything was my fault... it always seemed to be... So to hind my own weakness, I found a way to blame others around me... But this... this mission was all my fault... I gave wrong orders and got two people of my own killed... All because I couldn't listen to _my own_ goddamned instinct...

 _All my fault..._

 _All my fault..._

"I'm fine." I blurted, trying to convince myself as well as him.

His face showed he didn't buy it.

"Look, Laf, I'm fine. It was just a stressful mission. I'm sure everybody is on edge."

He still didn't buy it.

"Look, if you're going to stare at me like that the whole morning, I'm going t' go. You need your beauty sleep."

He really wasn't amused, yet never spoke a word... Just watching me slip from the chair, to the door and along the chilling tiled floor. I paced quickly towards my door and hastily slipped inside, slamming it closed and locking it tight with a chair.

 _It's all my fault..._

 _It's all my fault..._

"It's all my fault..." I choked, falling pathetically to the floor. Lathering myself in mumbles and frantic breaths trying to regain control. Surprise, surprise! It didn't work... "It's all your fault... You killed them... You hurt Laf... You damaged that boy even more... You did this... You-you... monster..."

You did this... You **monster...**

Everything seemed to black out eventually... Except the vicious words never ceased to rip me apart...

Haunting me wildly in my dreams...

Or should I have said... _nightmares_...

Authors Note:

This took a while to upload and didn't end up where I hoped it would... Next chapter will be on its way but it's really hard trying to balance out three stories all at once!!!

Leave you constructive reviews below and hope I will come back soon!

P.S: I'm so sorry it's so short :(

-L.E-Rae _x_


	4. Chapter 3- Our Spot

**Chapter 3- Our Spot**

 **A/N: Sorry I keep forgetting to do Trigger Warnings.**

 **Trigger Warnings: Mentions of drug abuse, assault, self-hate and depression.**

 **(Laurens' POV)**

Over the next two weeks, I steadily began to regain myself. Alas, I realised, this was one of those things that would keep haunting me forever.

 _It's all your fault..._

 _It's all your-_ _ **stop.**_

That was my minds main process for the next few weeks. An on and off cycle of blame and guilt but it eventually just felt like... me...

And I guess that scared me a lot...

These weeks were also an eruption reminiscing for me... Haunting every time a silence crept upon me or my eyes shut for a lengthy time... Another form of my mistakes...

Leaving him behind to die...

After the last mission on retrieving the (what I can now call) man, it hasn't been too busy down in the Liberty's base. Which added even more time for me to grieve over my own stupid mistakes I was too weak to push away. No important meetings nor planning for our next attack because until this man woke up, we had nothing solid to work with...

Which brought me next, to him. Elizler had stabilised this mystery figure within three days of compete hard work. He was alive but wasn't waking up or showing any signs. Also (because of another one of my mistakes) even if he does wake up, there could be something wrong with him whether it be a paralysed limb or memory loss.

I visited him almost every day with all this spare time on my hands, just watching him and trying to get my head around the fact he can hear me. And I did speak to him. Elizler told me that it could help quicken the speed for him to wake up. So I did speak to him. Only when I was alone though as a few times Lafayette had come with me and only about three times with Mulligan.

Lafayette was on the mend now too, the medication working faster than normal. He had to attempt at using his shoulder more frequently but that wasn't exactly hard when you work in an army-styled base.

Above ground, the civilian's medical technology was quite lacking compared to what we can do (or more specifically, what Elizler can do as head of the Medical department). Usually at the surface, it would take months for a bullet to the shoulder to completely heal, however by the end of the third week with an injury like that down here, all you really got were rare stabbing pains. But we would still send them in for training as soon as they were able to.

Nobody can be a slacker here.

Well... Not all the time anyway...

Down here, we barely have any spare time in between training and (for captains) paperwork. All the missions, whether they be minor or major, were usually strict and important at some degree...

Other than one mission we all loved...

If anything, this particular quest was pointless if you asked me. It seemed it would only be a matter of time before we shut it down... Though some part of me knew the General used this just to get us all out and enjoying some aspect of a normal life without worry.

More like an... extremely small holiday. Only really lasting a few hours...

Every month would mean a new squadron to choose from to go above ground. That said squadron divided and separated amongst a city to patrol and secure the area. Of course, nobody Up-Top knew it was us. We kept our selves very well hidden, only appearing to help.

This mission really was a cop out. This didn't do us any favours but waste precious time we don't have much of.

But... I did love it...

Whenever my Squad was chosen, I would always separate off with Mulligan, Lafayette and _him_. All of us really had a great time above ground. We joked, talked and all the while saving people from robberies and occasionally murder.

This was the only thing I was flexible about- even now. Just because this used to be mine and _his_ thing, doesn't mean I can strip away the experience from others. I just kept to myself a lot more and was usually the lookout whilst Mulligan and Lafayette joked about things so irrelevant that it slips my mind.

And this month of January brought forward our turn Up-Top. Each Friday we would leave Up-Top to perform the orders given (or most likely, mess around).

The air was frigid and thick Up-Top. Busy and noisy Up-Top. Dark and starry Up-Top. My hairs stood on end as the wind made them reveal along the layer of my flesh.

Lafayette and Mulligan began to sit down across the top of a ledge, about fifteen stories up from the ground- I followed silently. My legs swung absently in the air, every now and then, watching little crumbles of dust dance away from the buildings top.

This may have been seen as quite sorrowful from the outside, but to me on the inside, it was comforting. I didn't need to talk. Just remember good times of when he was still alive. Either throwing little pebbles to the tree across the street, or joking to push the other off the edge off the building...

 _"You know you'd never beat me, right?!" He laughed with a competitive tone._

 _"Oh, you seem so sure of yourself!" I stood tall, inching closer._

 _"I am! Come on, just face it! I've got faster reflexes than you!" Despite being smaller than me, he walked me backwards towards the edge (I not realising in the moment)._

 _"Somehow I doubt that..." I grinned wide._

 _"Oh yeah?" He roughly grabbed a loose part of the suit upon my chest, "You wanna test that theory?"_

 _Before I had I chance to retort, I was shoved with great force over the top of the building. My hair only whipped in the plummet for less than a second, before my arms jolted, gripping dearly to the ledge underneath his feet. I didn't even yell. I just gazed up at his proud face, smirking broadly and devilishly._

 _"Beautiful night tonight!" He smiled wide._

 _I retorted, "Oh yeah, you should see from here!"_

 _"And what? Miss this view?" He bent down closer to my face, making sure his strong British accent came through._

 ** _A/N: IT'S NOT KING GEORGE OR SEABURY DON'T WORRY!_**

 _"My god, you're so hot." Was all I could say, almost forgetting about the fifteen stories below me._

 _"Why dear Laurens, I'm flattered! But you must be so glad Lafayette and Mulligan weren't here to hear that..."_

 _I somewhat hummed in agreement, "Yes. We'd be dead otherwise..." I laughed and looked down in awe, "Not as dead as I'll be if I fall though... Come on, help me up."_

 _He just tapped his chin slowly and mockingly. "Should I? Give me a reason."_

 _"You love me."_

 _"Hmm... Is that really worth it?"_

 _"I guess not..."_

 _I was too quick for him to question my answer before we swiftly switched places while I grabbed at his ankle, tugging him over the side._

 _"Now," I began, dusting off my hands, "do tell me how it feels to hang for dear life over a fifteen-story building, dearest."_

 _"Oh come on Jack!" He whined while gazing down with terror stitched to his eyes. "I'm sorry!"_

 _"What was that?" I grinned in dominance._

 _"I'M SORRY!"_

 _"I apologise, the wind is quite loud up here, what did you say again?"_

 _"I'm slipping Jack! Please just pull me up!"_

 _"Are you sure about that?"_

 _"YES! I'M SORRY!"_

 _"Well... Only because I love you..."_

 _His lips escaped a sigh of relief as I bent down to curl my fingers into his. I pulled him to the ledge where he wobbled slightly in a strong breeze. We both stepped away from the edge swiftly, laughing nervously and slightly out of breath._

 _"Remind me why I still love you..." He muttered under his breath._

 _"Yeah... well at least you do..."_

 _He connected our eyes together and lent up to furiously press warmth to my lips. I stepped back slightly to gain my balance again before running my fingers through his thick, golden hair that had fallen out of the hair tie earlier that night. He traced his hands to my waist pressing closer into me so when we did finally let go of each other's lips, we were inches apart trapped inside this starry night._

 _"Now I remember." He grinned latching back onto me, letting us be safe and alone for once in a long time..._

We didn't need street lights to light up the street when he was around. His smile was always so wide, creasing dimples into the tops of his cheeks and making his eyes either squint or fully close. He even took his last breath with a ghosting smile lingering as he coughed out steams of blood.

But I had to stop there. This place on top of this building was the only happy place I had now... and I was not going to ruin that... Remembering the kiss on top of the city structure made me smile slightly, it feeling wider than it actually was. I swung another kick to the bricks watching it crumble again. Lafayette and Mulligan were both messing about with each other about two meters from me. I heard the occasional joke and gossip in between daydreams but mostly stayed out of it. This was my place to remember him and the good times we shared together.

It wasn't that I wanted to forget him, I just wanted to forget how he died… and how I had to leave him behind…

When he had died, and I came up here with Mulligan and Lafayette, the two had suggested we move our usual spot… but I refused. They both learned to let me sit silently after that. It started a little awkward at first, but smoothed out over time. Us four were extremely close friends. We laughed. We smiled. We talked. Just like friends should. We were all an individual puzzle piece to a four-piece puzzle. Each unique enough to fit together perfectly.

And I did miss them. Jesus, I really missed them.

They were still around and by my side except so distant to me… We rarely laughed. We rarely smiled together. We rarely talked. Just like friends _shouldn't_ be… The forth piece to the puzzle was lost so the other three could never be complete without it…

My smile dropped at this thought and I sighed down to the tranquil street below. The only thing to catch my attention was a woman on the sidewalk. She seemed drunk. Most likely early twenties. She was stumbling on cracks in the pavement, holding the walls for support. I almost rolled my eyes at her efforts but if I did, I would have missed the dark figure creeping up behind her…

Lafayette and Mulligan didn't notice until we all heard a repeat of shrilling and struggles.

Each of us stood tall and gave knowing looks to each other. A quick nod, and we were abseiling on ropes down the face of the building. As we neared the bottom, her slurred screams rang louder and louder, sending out an adrenaline rush pouring through my veins. Our landing feet were almost silent behind this (what I noticed was male) figure.

 _Ugh! Stereotypes!_ I spat inside my head.

Even though this woman was extremely wasted with alcohol, she put up a strong fight to this man… "HELP ME! HELP ME!" She kept shrieking while being forcefully dragged away.

My fingers signalled for Lafayette to slip forwards and take this guy. Like always, he obeyed.

The man fell to the floor with a thump and the girl screamed, soon ' _running'_ as far as she could. I let her run, instead driving my attention to the thrashing man sprawled on the pavement.

"Now," I began slyly, slipping down to his level, "what were you doing?"

He spat, "Nothing you bastard."

"Hmm… Is it strange that I don't believe you?"

He didn't reply.

"TALK TO ME! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, pulling his shirt close to me, dragging him with it.

He just giggled, slightly dazed…

 _Wait…_

Before I could react, he shoved his lips on my own. My eyes grew extremely wide with fury and shoved him to the floor, kicking once hard in the ribs.

Again, he just laughed.

"He's high." I scoffed unamused and wiping my lips hard. "Deal with this shit you two. Now."

They looked down on him, disgusted, but still dragged him away. They'd figure out what to do, whether it be handing him to the police or wipe both the girl and his memory. Most likely the former option.

Like his lips were poison to me, I physically spat to the floor and took constant sips from my water flask. Still, it seemed his putrid taste of cannabis just wouldn't run from my mouth with the liquid. I shuddered slightly and shook my head.

This guy was a proper prick.

 _Bastard._

But that wasn't what truly strung… It was the realisation that that druggy was the first one to touch my lips after _he_ died… I wouldn't say kiss, because that wasn't romance.

 _That_ _ **prick**_ **.**

Could the universe not even let me keep my last kiss with him? Was I _that_ horrible to not even deserve _that_?

"Laurens." A deep voice called from the other side of my earpiece.

"General?" I was stunned for a second. Washington never called me during these missions. Either it was a mistake or something serious was going on…

No. The General _never_ made mistakes. So my mind set panicked with the latter.

"Laurens." He repeated again. "I need you back at base. Now, I understand that the rest of your Squad wants to stay behind, so you will put Lafayette in charge. Understood?"

I paused for a second. "Yes, Sir. But can I ask, what is this about, Sir?"

"Irrelevant. I need you here ASAP. Can I trust you to follow orders?"

I sighed. "Yes, Sir."

"Good." The line cut short.

I slung my head into my hands and began to trudge up the street, all the while, informing Lafayette on what was happening.

I let my eyes gaze up at the bright moonlit sky once, before I swung off into the night.

 **Author's Note: And here's another one! I will updating quite a bit today all over my profile so I might have another chapter on this one… or two other fic's :D (Warning! Self-Promo!) If you want to check them out! (I'm Throwing Away My Shot, and, Catch My Fall.)**

 **I'm in a writing mood today!**

 **Leave what you thought about this down below along with any questions you think of x**

 **Until we meet again!**

 **-L.E-Rae _x_**


	5. Chapter 4- Nothing's Normal Now

**Chapter 4- Nothing's Normal Now**

 **(Laurens' POV)**

I entered the base with great speed, almost falling through the door to the General's office. On the way back, I was quite annoyed but then the curiosity struck me like a soccer ball to the face. Quick and hard.

"Jesus Christ Laurens!" Was the first yet unusual voice of Lee stood in front of Washington's desk. "What was that?!"

I instantly realised he meant the rushed fall.

"I… err… I slipped?"

Lee was about to comment before the General beat him to it, "Gentlemen! Stop your childish rivalry because we have more pressing matters to deal with!"

We both shut up, I stepped forward.

"Thank you. Now, I have called you both here upon the subject of 'Mission Micro'. I understand Laurens executed the mission and Lee was called for backup therefore, you are both involved." He took a breath, "The victim is awake."

My head shot to the door like I wanted to run and see if he was okay. And if it wasn't for the wave of shock keeping me paralyzed to the floor, I would have…

"But…"

 _Here it was…_

"He's not in the best state…"

 _Oh well done Laurens! You hurt another one!_

"I-is this my fault, Sir?" I questioned, praying for a new answer…

"Unfortunately… yes, Laurens… The tranquilliser has done a bit of damage. So much so, the Medical teams couldn't do anything to prevent it…"

"Shit…" I muttered, expecting a mocking comment from Lee but he just stayed silent… Though when I looked over he looked… damn… he looked fucking sympathetic!

"I know this is hard to hear… but go see Elizler. She knows more than I do."

I sighed, attempting to hide my ashamed expression "Thank you, Sir." I saluted and turned towards the door before he added another command.

"And Lee, you go with him. You need to know what's going on too. Whether you two like it or not, you are both in this together, so please try to keep your opinions to each other quiet. You may go."

"Yes, Sir." We both murmured before stepping outside the door, nothing said between us.

We began the walk at a steady pace none of us wanting to talk to the other. Of course I had to be stuck with Lee now, didn't I?

I really wanted to glare at him but for some reason, thought it would be best to keep it calm for as long as I could. He was going to drop a comment any second now on my failure and how much of a disappointment I am to the agency… but he didn't… I kept waiting and waiting and waiting but… he never spoke a word…

We had been walking for about two minutes before he made a sound, nothing hurtful or crude to my surprise… something more concerned than anything…

"Can I say something?" He started, glancing at me from the edge of his eye.

"Sure. Get it over with. Rub in how much of a disappointment I am to everyone and shout it to the rest of the world."

"Why do you think I'd do that?!"

"Because when _haven't_ you?!"

"Once. When he died."

I stayed silent looking sheepishly towards the ground.

"You know that wasn't your fault. You _had_ to leave him behind. You'd have been killed otherwise."

I still didn't say anything, my mind was crowded with so much noise, it seemed impossible to get it into words.

"Look Laurens, I know we both hate each other- that won't change. You don't have to be a genius to know that, but… he was my friend too. Do you not think I cared when I had to leave him as well?"

"That's different… You weren't married to him…" I felt my stomach drop.

He stopped for a second, almost hurt by what I said. "Look, my point is you don't have to feel bad for everything that goes wrong in the world. This mission wasn't all your fault. You didn't kill the two agents, this was their own choice to a part of. You didn't shoot Lafayette in the shoulder, the Banes did. And we both know you never hurt the victim intentionally. You were under pressure, we _all_ were."

"Why are you even being nice to me? What do you want?"

He chuckled to himself with a small smile creeping on his face, I just glared.

"Okay, okay. Pretend we don't hate each other for one minute and we're close friends. Take the comment. Not everything is your fault."

For once during this strange exchange, I looked up at him. He was only about two inches taller than me but for some odd reason seemed much higher. I couldn't bring myself to thank him and, to be honest, he knew that too.

"I… Fine." Was all I could say.

As far as enemy relationships go, he was satisfied with that answer and we carried on towards the Medical ward soon spotting Elizler in her white coat.

I called out for her first, driving her attention from her clipboard to me and then to Lee almost rolling her eyes. Elizler was usually a sweet girl, but under circumstances like that… she wasn't exactly someone you wanted to mess with… She had this sort of switch that converted almost as fast as a lightning strike- almost as frightening as one too…

"There you boys are!" She was on the brink of shouting and stormed over to us both. I gulped. Sometimes she could be as scary as Angeler… and _that_ was saying something… If she did ever want to be an agent one day, I wouldn't be surprised if she made it to General by the first year… Those sisters really were something else… Each completely diverse yet share such similar traits you pick up on through the years.

Angeler was extremely witty, independent and strongminded almost every waking moment you were with her. However, compared to Peggler, who was really fun to be around, although still had a side you didn't want to mess with. But that (and very high wits) was the only thing that the oldest and youngest sibling had in common. She was part of the tactics department in this base though also did a lot of cleaning and working as a chef in the food hall. The youngest sister also helped with Elizler on occasion, mainly just replacing bandages and bring medication. Elizler (being the middle sister) was a mixture between both. She had the happy, sweet, joyous side of Peggler, but also the strong, clever mind of Angeler, along with a sharp tongue to the mix.

It was a lesson that many have learned the hard way, not to mess with these three. But other than the continuous worry that you could be eaten alive any second, they were good company. Liked by nearly everyone I could think of…

"Hey Elizler…" Lee smiled, with what may seem to others as charming, I just saw as disgusting. Yes, he was kind earlier but I still hated him and that feeling was thankfully mutual.

We didn't get a chance to explain before she yanked us both by our arms towards her office just a few doors down from the victim. Lee and I both looked like lost lambs in the fog with Elizler as a hungry wolf coming from behind us. She slammed the door shut, stormed passed Lee heading in beeline for me…

"You are so stupid! Do you realise what you've done?!" She scolded with livid eyes.

"I… I… I'm sorry… I just… I just panicked…" Was all I could muster. She was terrifying…

"Jesus Elizler, you look like crap." Lee bluntly stated from behind her as she almost pinned me to the wall. You see, neither of us could tell her off. Yes, we were both Captains of Squadrons, just below the General in importance. But the fact she was the leader of the _Medical_ Department, meant we basically had no control over what she did. Therefore, pinning me to the wall and yelling in my face made me completely defenceless. She would _never_ harm anyone, so we didn't have to worry about that. But her words were a completely other matter…

Elizler shot Lee a look that could kill and he instantly shut up, making me smile slightly soon easily being shot back down again.

"You can't smile. I am more-" She stopped herself by rubbing her temples and then looking back to me. "Sorry. I'm not mad at you. Those Banes deserve more than we're going to give them… You see… He was really broken… I don't want to get into it but… let's just say it caused me many sleepless nights just to get him stable…"

Lee and I gave concerned looks to her and she seemed to dart eye contact all together…

"El… What's happened?" I asked picking up on her anxiety throughout every second we stood waiting.

"Well…" She sighed, taking a seat at her desk, "As I said before, he's beat up pretty bad… Thankfully, no brain damage was caused. But… the tranquiliser problem… it made things worse… I mean, _a lot_ worse and…" She took in a deep breath added extra tension to the room, "It caused him memory loss."

I took a step back, looking away, trying to find something to keep my eyes on but it was useless. I ran my fingers though my hair and took in a loud gust of air. "How bad is it?"

"All he can remember is his own name and the prison he was in. I don't know if he can still remember anything logical, but as far as I know- he has no memories. He's practically useless."

 _The two Agents were killed for_ _ **nothing**_ _. Laf was shot for_ _ **nothing**_ _. All because of_ _ **you**_ _dumbass. He's ruined because of_ _ **you**_ _. I bet you're happy you shit._

I never let it show though. I'd never let it show.

 _Calm, Laurens… Calm and stern._

"I'm sorry 'Liz. But I promise I won't make him useless. He will be a use to us some way or another."

She smiled, "I know you will. He's in room 12e."

"Huh?" I looked confused.

"Go see him! Please! I'm guessing Lee will have to go too?"

We nodded, rolling our eyes.

"I'd hate to be you two right now."

"Thanks 'Liz." Lee shot an unamused look to her. She just smirked at his annoyance.

"Now go! Get your information. I'm off to my bunk. See you!"

Lee and I didn't get a chance to object before she swung out the door into the hallway. Us two just rolled our eyes and continued in her path. This man's room was closer than expected at first, around eight doors down. We entered his room to a sea of nurses and one phycologist (most likely to monitor his memory). They all looked up to us, the nurses shuffling out the door while the Dr just stood to speak to us.

"Evening gentlemen." He greeted, walking us back out the door closing it behind him.

"Evening Dr." I spoke accepting a handshake, "Lee and I were hoping to speak to this man if that would be okay?"

"That's fine Laurens. I'll just need to run it by Elizler first."

"No need to sir, she sent us down here."

"Alright then, I'll just need to give you details. He had severe memory loss but the rest of his intelligence seems to be top-notch. I'm not sure what you plan to get out of him but do what you must." He stepped out the way of the door signalling us to walk back through. We did as gestured, closing the door behind us.

The room was engulphed in silence, just a repetitive beep from the heart monitor and drip from the IV attached to him. He was dressed in a hospital gown, shying himself beneath the sheets, seeming uncomfortable with what he wore. His skin was still pale except hints of his natural tan was peeping through like the sun on a cloudy day (not that I'd seen many of them). And his hair framed his face very firmly. Thick, shoulder-length, natural brown with hints of copper towards the ends. No freckles or moles on his face. Just… pure… Other than the heavy bags beneath his eyes nothing stood out in that category. But his expression was locked on us, tightening like cobra's around us. However, it was the eyes that were too unique to name. So brown that you almost had to squint to separate his gaping pupils from the iris. Also, around the edge of said iris's, was an electric blue stabbing down in different lines. He had me caged in his gaze. I didn't know about Lee behind me, but I was lost.

"Are you going to speak or…" He broke me away from my gaze.

"Seems like you did anyway." I snapped back.

"Yes it does but someone had to do it."

This kid was quick.

"I guess so." Was all I could input.

"So… Is my 'knight in shining armour' going to tell me why he and his buddy-Bill are stood around my bed? Or am just going to have to relish in your stares?"

Jesus Christ, he had a lot to say.

"It's Captain _Lee_ actually." Lee corrected stepping forward.

"Oh… Okay I guess we're doing introductions now. I'm-"

"Only last names please." I butted before he could finish.

"And what makes you think your special enough to earn the trust of my first name?"

I was speechless, mouth gaping.

"Wow. I like this kid! He's got a mouth!" Lee blurted as I shot him a death glare and mumbled,

"Well that's gonna change..." I looked back at this man, his arms crossed in his lap, "So, what's your name?"

"Hamilton. And you're Captain Laurens. I know. So now were all now introduced would you mind asking the modest question of, ' _where the fuck am I'_?!"

I cleared my throat in an attempt to tell him to mind his language. He wasn't fazed.

"You're in the medical department of an underground agency- The Liberty's."

"The who now?"

"The Liberty's. We're a secret agency to defend the rights and freedom of people from another group trying to defy our objectives. What we do is sorta in the name."

He hummed in understanding, "I get that. And from what I can remember, it doesn't exactly surprise me either. I can just hope you won't try to torcher me. I've had enough of that for a lifetime."

"W-what? So you remember your torcher? But nothing else?"

"Yeah, I can remember that they beat me but I can't remember why…"

"You were valuable to _us_. They were probably trying to kill you off slowly."

"That's normal…"

"Nothing's normal now, Hamilton."

"I'm guessing I'll be staying in this 'paradise' then?" He sighed, huffing into the sheets.

I smiled in dominance, "You'd be guessing correctly."

 **Author's Note:** **Now, I know I said I was in a writing mood but I had to do something else with family ;_;**

 **(I'm totally not dying inside right now at an amazing writing opportunity that I missed… noooooo wayyyyyyyyyy *nervously laughs*)**

 **Please review x**

 **-L.E-Rae _x_**


	6. Chapter 5- Nicknames

**Chapter 5- Nicknames**

 **(Laurens' POV)**

 ** _(2 Weeks Later)_**

"Wake up Laurens! Laurens? For god's sake! Wake up you fuck!"

I shot up, squirming amongst my bed sheets. There were no bright lights anywhere, yet I still had my eyes squint to adjust to my room. Nothing different, the same room. Except for Lee towering above my sleeping figure.

"The hell?!" I croaked with a voice full of sleep. Before I even had a chance to crack my shoulders, he had literally dragged me from my bed and out into the hall way.

The uniforms down here were basically just all black. Day clothes were made up of a black t-shirt, tight pants and boots along with a dark jacket. The night attire was just black t-shirts and sweat pants. Fortunately, that night I fell asleep in my work gear, so I wasn't being dragged along the halls in embarrassing clothes (not that Lee cared).

This style of clothing was for all the agents and military personnel (also including the General). Medics were assigned to wear light blue at work and white as an everyday sort of thing. The Intelligence and Tactics department wore dark blue all round and cleaners wore yellow, along with a chef.

"Lee?! Tell me what the hell's going on!"' I demanded just as he dropped his grip, but not his rushed expression.

"He's gone."

 _Wait._ "Who?"

"Hamilton! Elizler went to tell him he'd be realised tomorrow and he was gone! Now come on! Mulligan, Lafayette, Elizler and Angeler are already out searching!"

"He can't go far though. For one, the base is secured and two, he'll get exhausted way too quickly from being cooped up in that bed for a month."

All I got back from Lee was a mutter and a signal to follow him to (what I presumed was) the food hall.

As we raced through the tranquil halls in the dead of night, our footsteps were profound and heavy with our breaths. Lee split off from me to the right so I took the left wing. There was no doubt that the others were talking to each other through headset's, however I had left mine back at my bunk so I was in this alone…

I sped past two clocks in the halls, all reading about 04:05 am on its illuminated face. It seemed like five minutes of a constant (yet thorough) jog along the halls, each corridor as quiet as the next.

I came to a shaky stop and looked around aimlessly. The end of public premises was at this point. Through the next door was the way to the cars and the gate out…

 _Oh._

Almost concluding my suspicions, as if on cue, a dark figure whipped by in the dim light. I yelled through the silence for him to stay put but ran on behind him once he disobeyed.

Instead of attempting to carry through the restricted door, he made a sharp turn past me and back the way we came. I didn't know exactly what he was doing. To be honest, I truly thought he was running around trying to shake me off.

Yeah… **No**. I knew this place like the back of my hand plus I was much more physically fitter than him- that was enough points to give.

He made a dart for a side room helplessly fumbling for a lock. There were no locks in this place. Only on the Generals office and restricted areas had to be closed off. So to where he was running (an empty store room) I knew for a fact there was- one: no lock on the door and two: nowhere to run out of.

I had him.

I slid hastily through the door as he fell to a heap on the tiled floor. I reached for the light switch striking up on Hamilton's startled face.

"Okay, thanks for the good morning chase! But there's no more games Shortbread. Follow me." He scowled deeply at the new nickname we had all given him in the last week due to his lack in hight. We had originally thought about just keeping it _"_ _Shorty",_ but he really seemed to hate being named after something 'sweet'.

"How about _I_ give _you_ an irritating nickname!" He barked, crossing his arms tightly against his chest.

I breathed a chuckle, "Sure. Go ahead. Tell me once you get one. Now, do as I say." I reached out my hand to grasp his arm but was instantly batted away with a swing to my face which I expertly dodged and lunged for his legs, sending him toppling over. He squirmed beneath my weight as I grappled for his arms, dragging them behind his back.

"Now Hamilton," He looked up at me slightly dazed and angered, "first thing, if you swing, adjust your stance and shift your weight. Second thing, you _never_ hit a Captain. That's punishable by **death** you idiot. So let's just keep this between us, shall we?"

He shot me a look that could kill and ground his teeth together in circles. I yanked him to his feet keeping his arms wrapped together, I leant up close to his ear, "And third, you _never_ disobey orders. Got it?"

He nodded reluctantly and I dragged back towards Elizler and the others by the Medical Department, every step we took in silence.

* * *

"I'm not taking him!" Lee declared loudly inside Elizler's office, me and her rolling our eyes.

"Do I not even get a say in this?" I questioned, holding my head in my hands.

"No. _You_ are letting him share a bunk with _you_. This is not what I signed up for!" Lee folded his arms defiantly, "Yes, I will help train and test him but I am _not_ \- _**NOT**_ \- sharing my bunk with him."

I swung back in my chair and gazed at the ceiling above, "Fine then you ass."

I turned to Elizler who was biting back a laugh behind her desk.

"So? When should I pick him up?" I asked standing up and walking over to the door.

"Now." She laughed.

I sighed and didn't have the energy to argue or show any sign of surprise. I just walked out of the door and down to his room.

I gave three average knocks on his door before he opened up looking smart yet daunting in his black uniform. I scanned him and nodded with a smile.

"Looking smart Shortbread."

He looked me dead in the eyes and smirked instead of his usual annoyed expression.

"Not too bad yourself, _Freckles_."

He found a nickname.

* * *

 **Author's Note** **: Ending was rushed. It sounds crap. It IS crap.**

 **I really just don't like this chapter -_-**

 **SOS.**

 **I'm also sorry for the mistakes in this! I don't want to read through it :)**

 **Oh well! The next few chapters will be slow coming out because of the lack in plot but, trust me, I have SO MUCH planned for this! We just have to get past the boring bits first!**

 **Leave ya reviews kids! Love them more than the world! (But this one is hard to write about so u don't have to :))**

 **-L.E-Rae _x_**


	7. Chapter 6- Anger

Chapter 6- Anger

(Laurens' POV)

Hamilton trailed behind me with a slightly slow, agonising rate. He carried a slight limp in his small stagger but kept up enough for me to not comment. Along the way back to my- _our_ \- bunk, Hamilton's eyes couldn't help but stare intently at the surroundings. Busying folk darting back and forth between rooms, insignificant 'beeps' from the clocks, fragments of a wind blowing from the doors and the fresh scent of tomato pasta brewing- he couldn't help but lick his lips at. The food he must have gotten served in his Medical room would have been bland yet almost too nutritious for some people's taste, so his reaction seemed on point.

With each hall we turned, his expression would differ depending on a new sight he saw. At first, I thought this to be odd, until I remembered how this would have been a brand new memory to him.

Because of you, you shit.

I pressed the thought to the back of my mind to stew with the rest- still there, just boiling into something bigger. It didn't occur at the time, but it would have been a bad idea for events to come...

That luscious scent of pasta trailed with us through nearly every corridor, Hamilton's eyes growing wider each time.

"Don't worry Hamilton, we'll be eating soon enough." I smirked, not looking back over my shoulder.

"Good! Do you realise how bad the meals were back in the hospital-thing? I know you need to pump a load of nutrients into me but, Jesus Christ! At least add some sort of taste other than soggy cardboard to it!"

I rolled my eyes and didn't reply to his (what must have been small for him) rant, the door to the Alpha Squad Bunks coming into view.

Hamilton made a couple of comments on the name which I just let slip to the back of my mind and proceeded to my- *sigh* _our_ \- room.

No lock in the way, I pushed open the door and switched on the light.

"Okay, so," I started, ushering him into the room, "I know this isn't exactly 'luxury' but that's not something we get down here." He nodded and sat on the chair from my desk. "You've got a wardrobe, a bed, a set of draws, clothes and we share that bathroom over there." I indicated towards the side door in the room. "If you want a shower, everyone but the General have to use the public ones down the hall. I get the first shower after a mission, then it's my Lieutenant and then whoever is in line first. Try to make quick use of the water as there isn't much of it down here."

Hamilton gave his stern nods and began to examine the room from top to bottom.

"That's your bed." I walked closer to him, indicating the bed on the right of mine which was positioned against the wall. Between them was the desk he was already sat at and two smaller tables for personal belongings.

I cleared my throat and tapped him out of a trance, "You won't be using the desk. Only I have paperwork Shortbread."

He stood up on his nimble legs and slumped on top of his bedsheets kicking off his boots.

"Whatever you say Freckles." He winked to the close his eyes into a small rest.

I raised my eyebrows at his gesture, crossed my arms and chucked his abandoned boots back onto his chest.

"Don't leave your mess in here Hamilton. I'll warn you now before I need to put my foot down. I don't do slackers."

"That's rich coming from you!" He exclaimed sitting up sharply from his mattress.

"Excuse me?!"

"'I don't do slackers'! Well, look who slacked off while 'saving' me?! Zapping all my memories in the process?!"

Well this changed quickly.

"That was a mistake! Plus, there's a difference between that and some boots so leave that out if this! We all make mistakes and that's something you will learn soon enough! Now please shut your gob! One, I don't do snark. And two, you don't raise your voice at a Captain!"

Through his eyes, anger seethed out like hells fire as he roughly yanked up his boots and positioned them in the right place, inside his wardrobe.

"Why do I even have to be part of this... I never even had a fucking choice..." He muttered between his teeth.

I ground my own together in frustration and fury about to bark out a reply before a knock came through my door.

"Enter." I sighed, trying to banish the anger from my speech.

"Hey there Laurens!" Elizler came waving through the door. "I forgot to give you the medication for Hamil- oh, hi Hamilton!" She smiled at the shorter man before turning to me. "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you two!" She turned on her heel and handed me the pills except I grabbed her shoulder before she could go too far.

"Wait El! Can you take Hamilton to dinner? I won't be going today. Show him where the library is after, get him a book and bring him back? Also say hi to Peggler for me!"

She smiled and ushered for Hamilton to follow on. He did so without a fuss or a glance towards me and closed the door smoothly behind him.

His training course would start tomorrow. And boy how I was going to teach him a lesson or two...

He wouldn't know what hit him...

Authors Note: Rushed. Short. Crap. Boring. I'm tired. Goodnight.

Plz review!!!

-L.E-Rae _x_


	8. Chapter 7- Sanguine Blood

**TRIGGER WARNINGS: Very gaphic gore and disturbing scenes**

 **Chapter 7- Sanguine Blood**

 **(Laurens POV)**

Okay, so as much as I hated to admit it, the way Lee woke me up a few nights ago may or may not have inspired me to do the same to Hamilton...

Elizler brought him back later that night with a book or two to shut him up and- it did work well. If I ever looked up from my desk, his unique eyes were always darting and scanning a marathon on the pages. Nearly every minute, he turned the paper with haste to thirst upon new information lying heavy on the next two pages. It was silently amusing.

I never attempted to make conversation that evening. The only sounds heard were rustles of pages, scratches of pen to paper and a indistinct grumble from my stomach.

What surprised me however, was that Hamilton read far into the night (just as long as I worked). Usually, I stopped working in the early hours of the morning (maybe from 1-2:30) so I naturally expected him to head to bed hours before. He didn't though... _I_ had to remind _him_ to sleep! So by then, he was already 3/4 inside his thick book, the name of which I still didn't ask.

My body and brain was used to lack of sleep. Actually, if I got too much sleep, _that's_ when I was grouchy! So the fact that I had to wake up at around 6:30am, didn't faze me whatsoever. Hamilton obviously wasn't as adapted as I was.

As I bluntly shook his sleeping body awake, he seemed to sharply sit up, alert.

"Mornin', Shortbread." I smirked at him, throwing his training clothes bluntly in his face.

He yawned widely, "Mornin', you freckled fuck."

I rolled my eyes and laughed slightly, putting his comment down to simple banter.

"What time is it?" He stretched, standing up from the bed.

I clicked my tongue, "Showtime."

He left no words and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

By the time he had finished, Lee, Lafayette and Mulligan had already gathered inside our room- either discussing subjects or lightly teasing Lee or me about out " _alliance_ ".

 _"Now do you wish you never called Lee for help?!"_

Was only one of Mulligan's comments on the situation, not to mention some of the things Laf inputted on.

Hamilton exited the bathroom with a slight look of shock on his face for a second.

"Didn't know I was _this_ appreciated to be welcomed by a crowd whenever I walked through a door? Will this be a regular thing?" He looked on in amusement.

Lee stared at him with humour in his eyes whereas Lafayette and Mulligan, they just couldn't help but gape at Hamilton's mouth of words. I just stayed neutral.

"Hamilton," I began by clearing my throat, "this week, we will start to push you to your limit. Everyday, you will face a new level or stage in training your physical body. I warn you to put everything you've got into these hours of labour because this will start to decipher your roll in the Liberty's."

"Sounds good with me."

"It doesn't have to sound good with you. You'd be doing it anyway."

Hamilton shot a glare towards me, I gladly returned but stronger.

The four other men in the room were slightly taken back by mine and Hamilton's sudden switch in attitude. Maybe my comment was unneeded, or maybe I only just remembered about our fight last night. Either way, this had definitely set me up for the day. And I was going to make him work.

 ** _OwO_**

"Yeah-um- Laurens? I don't think he can take much more of this... I mean, he's been at it for about 20 minutes... Wait... Didn't you have this place booked for an hour? I don't think he's going to survive the next forty minutes..."

"Stop thinking, Lee and just go with it."

"He's almost falling over though! I'm always up for pushing someone over there limit but... but he's almost at his limit..."

Just to prove his point, Hamilton stumbled over his feet only just managing to stay on the treadmill. His brow was streaming with sweat and bright red with exhaustion. Usually at this point of breathlessness, I would have given some sort of advice, but I just wanted to see what skills he already had.

Hamilton made another trip over his feet just before I had to yell for him to stop. Gladly, he did.

Lafayette walked across with a bottle of water and a towel (Mulligan already departed for basic training with the rest of my squadron). Hamilton took the water with pure glee, nodding some sort of thanks toward the Lieutenant.

I watched him stumble away to sit on a bench outside, most likely engrossed with the scene.

Lafayette joined mine and Lee's discussion almost instantly.

"I really don't think he can do this, Laurens. He doesn't look physically strong enough." Lee scanned over where the short man sat.

"But you've got to remember, he's only just come out of hospital. He won't be the best fitness wise." Lafayette copied Lee's gaze.

"Hang on, because nearly every person we've trained has been able to at least get to the half an hour point without a break. Even when they've come out of hospital." Lee mentioned validly.

"Though they haven't been tortured." I pointed before looking up at Lee.

"Sure but do you remember Olpi? She had broken nearly every part of her, got two amputations and was still able to go past the half way mark almost three days after her release!"

Alas, Lee made points I couldn't ignore. Though as much as I wanted to accept the truth, some part of my mind nagged that this man held more than what we could see...

I sighed into my hands but told Lafayette to bring him back in.

"Keep an eye on him." I patted the Lieutenant on the back before disappearing inside the changing rooms. I gave a small jog over to where my locker should have been and pulled out my training gear slipping it on with haste.

Once I returned back to the other three: Lee held his head in his hands, Lafayette crossed his arms and lent up against the wall watching Hamilton who again, was out of breath.

Lafayette looked confused but I still said nothing before hopping on the treadmill next to Hamilton. Instantly, I pressed the speed just above Hamilton's who looked slightly dazzled but after some minutes he started to take the hint and look at my feet and breathing patterns. With this, he almost immediately began to pick up his pace and you could tell he felt a lot more comfortable.

Because of this new-found ability, I knew someone like him would be more than competitive to be the best, it seemed. So I turned up my speed by quite a few points. He followed.

Behind me, I could tell the way Lafayette and Lee would look on in astonishment, muttering little notes and jotting them down on the clipboard.

For me, the minutes seemed to fly by until we had almost under five minutes left. I pushed up my speed to the max (not really affecting anything within me) so after a few seconds, Hamilton followed.

Now, you should never talk when you're running because it uses up too much breath, but I did it anyway because I can just about control it. Also, I wanted to see if Hamilton knew this for himself.

"Keep it up, Shortbread. You haven't got long to go now."

Hamilton glanced over with a glint in his eye, placing a finger to his lips to prove he already knew where I was going with his.

"Good." I muttered underneath my breath until I heard a crash fall to the floor. I pulled out the emergency cord in my treadmill to stop instantly, but then I noticed the one next to me had already stopped and it's user was in a heap on the floor...

"Jesus Christ, what happened?" I managed getting my breathing back to a normal rate.

"...blood..." He murmured holding a forceful hand to his waist, "...stitches...broke..."

I bent down to his side and removed his hand pulling up his t-shirt. I could barely see the colour of his skin...

"Fuck." I muttered, looking around to try and find something to seal back up red, pooling abyss. Each second we waited, even more of his sanguine blood lathered it's self over the skin of my hand as I was now pressing down onto it. Lafayette called over to me from across the room, finally seeking out some sort of high tech First Aid Kit.

"Hold your wound." I spoke down to Hamilton's ear and he obeyed with a grunt. With a sharp pull I slipped my arms around his light figure and carried him over towards a bench closer to the Aid box.

"Okay Hamilton, your doing good just keep holding on, yeah?" I reassured but I didn't expect a reply.

Lafayette yanked the box from the wall hurrying over towards me and Hamilton who seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness in waves.

 _He shouldn't be bleeding this much..._

Against the door to the gym, Lee was shouting for help down the hallways, yells that were almost inaudible due to the panic that was set in. I took in a breath.

"Lafayette! Get bandages, staples and perform the local anaesthesia!"

No delay and the Frenchman rummaged the box for exactly what we need.

I looked back at Hamilton who was biting his lip to suppress a cry and letting his head lunge back and arching his back.

If it were even possible, his face was even more pooled with sweat than when he was running. Droplet after droplet skiing in rapids down the pale of his face.

This wasn't normal.

Unless Hamilton had some sort of phobia towards blood (which I was pretty certain he didn't), he didn't have a reason to react this way...

Something else was going on here...

"Lafayette! Where is the equipment?!" I rushed at him, snatching some medical gloves and shoving them over my hands.

"I can't find the drug!" He called back.

"Then go check in the back!"

Lafayette scrambled to his feet, sprinting down the hall into another room to find another box.

"Lee!" I yelled, "Need some help here!"

"I can't Laurens! By the state he looks, I need to get Elizler!"

I grunted in frustration, "Okay then go!"

He nodded running into the corridor, pushing past crowds and doorways.

I looked back at Hamilton, his suffering as prominent as the blood on my hands.

"Okay you're doing really good Hamilton. Really, really good. We're going to get you help soon just hang on in there."

"Laurens...?" His voice clenched in agony.

"Yes?"

"Please... hold... the wound..."

I looked down and his arms were violently shaking, the blood over flowing under his weak vice.

"Okay let go." I placed my hand over his and he swiftly jerked it away so I held down to apply the pressure.

This wasn't normal... There shouldn't be this much blood...

"Hey Hamilton?" I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could, "What was that book you were reading?" I only asked questions to try and make this less stressful for us both (mainly him).

"The... history... of the... American Revolution..."

I nodded trying to balance out the job in hand and keeping up talking.

"Do you like History then?" I asked.

He didn't reply for what seemed like a long time. The blood was gushing too heavy this time I had to act.

My fingers fiddled with my own belt strapped around my waist and instantly I attempted to wrap it just above where my hand pressed.

"Look Hamilton, I'm sorry but you're going to have to hold it again."

He placed his hand on top of my own as I slid away, immediately tightening the belt and clipping it in place with the buckle.

"F-fuck..." He yelped and began to squirm and grunt between his teeth.

"Hamilton?" I asked in a rush while I lunged to his wound as he abruptly let go. "Hamilton?! What's going on?!"

 _This wasn't normal!_

"Hamilton! You going to have to speak with me now!"

"They're here!" He screamed jolting me back a little bit and sending too many thoughts racing berserk in my head. "They're eating at me! I can feel it- ARGH!" He screeched digging his nails into my forearm. "It burns! Fuck! Laurens it's- it's- it's-" He screamed again.

"H-Hamilton?! What's eating you?! What's happening?!"

"L-Look!" He batted my hand away from his side and there it was. Thousands of tiny red bugs crawling in buried inside the tissue and flesh that enwrapped this poor man. The wound began to spread wider as these tiny monsters razored across his skin stabbing in deeper towards his insides. Thousand and thousands of these creatures plastered against everything I could see on the inside of him. Hamilton's body spasmed as they scratched deeper begging me to make it stop.

But for once in my life, I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what these things were. Never before had I _ever_ seen anything like it.

Do I hold the wound? Wash it? Try and get them out?

Something told me Hamilton knew exactly what they were but I thought he was in far to much agony to form proper words...

He was being eaten from the inside out...

"Let... me... bleed..." He choked with blood now dripping from his mouth.

I looked at him confused and through his squinted eyes, he attempted to unbuckle the belt I wrapped around him earlier.

"You... You want me to get rid of the belt?" I asked, tasting the bile swim up the back of my throat. He nodded.

"But you'll bleed out!" I almost shouted in internal panic I refused to show.

"They- hate- blood-"

"But-"

"JUST DO IT PLEASE!"

And I followed.

The blood gushed back out over us both. Squirt after squirt it sprayed across my face, turning my mouth into some sort of metallic lagoon. I twisted my head to the side to spit it away and tried to latch my hand back into the spray but Hamilton smacked my hand away, his face completely drained of colour.

"Don't... do... that... They'll... hurt... you..."

I stared down at him darting my eyes between his helpless face, and the mess over his stomach. I was completely baffled.

Suddenly, only in the moment, I started to realise Lafayette and Lee we're still gone.

 _Where the hell are they?!_

I could barely think straight. The only thing that snapped me back to Hamilton was cry and another twitched vice from his hands on my arm. I couldn't give a shit if they hurt me. I grabbed for a jacket swinging off the wall and put it directly on the wound.

I muttered reassuring comments and fumbled everywhere for the surgical staple gun, grasping it once I had it.

"Okay Hamilton, there is no way you will survive without stopping the bleeding. I'm going to have to seal it."

He forced his drooping eyes open to squint at the gun held. He nodded.

"Look, we have nothing to numb it so I'm going to just have to do it, okay?"

"F-fuck- J-Just do it Laurens!"

I made no hesitation.

 _Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap._

I could tell he tensed as firm as an oak board, biting at his lower lip to restrain a cry. Only a small line remind open but didn't bleed as violently as the it the other hole just had- so I spare him the extra pain.

The room ended up completely caved in our heavy breaths and Hamilton's grunts. A clash to the floor with the gun and sighed. His skin physically crawled with the creatures moving beneath it but they lightly began to cease until his skin appeared as just small ripples.

"W-what just happened?" I questioned slowly just bringing myself to look at him. But he never replied and just squeezed my arm (which he was still holding onto) rhythmically, maybe one movement every ten seconds.

I never bothered to ask any more questions, just letting the events of the past... what? Five? Six? Seven minutes? Pass by.

It didn't feel real.

The blood lathered all over us both, some starting to crisp over into a sticky sort of solid... Our both shaking figures... Our deep breaths... The bugs... The staples...

 _What just happened?_ I asked myself the same question and I didn't have an answer. _Nothing_ could describe this... Nothing at all...

What was this stillness after the storm? How can something like that, suddenly reassemble as an aura of calm?

I didn't have an answer to anything.

It wasn't just us lathered in the rose fields of blood, nearly everything within a meters length away was painted all the same.

The only thing that stayed constant was the squeeze of hand on my left forearm. Except all of a sudden a wave of nausea rolled over me and the room began to spin making my knees collapse to the floor. I swallowed the vomit down gagging on its acidic taste.

Hamilton squeezed me tighter out of his own discomfort and I gazed up at him as he winced. Again with a deep breath, I attempted to sit up against the bench he lay on, and removed the bloodied gloves stuck to my hands. I let my hand slide along his bare arm, giving small strokes of comfort with my thumb.

He squeezed me again.

I squeezed him back.

"I'm here." I whispered, stroking again with my thumb, "You're okay now... I promise, Shortbread."

Only for a second, a twitch of a smile ghosted his lips, but it dropped again to the exhausted expression he bared.

Soon, a clash of wheels began to echo down the hall. Heavy runs of footsteps and frantic chatter raced with the noise as well, Elizler's, Lee's and Lafayette's voice the most audible.

All bones throbbed with my eyes for rest, resisting any movement I attempted to make other than the squeezes we gave each other informing we were still somewhat conscious.

The last movement I made before shutting down to sleep, was my other hand placed lightly over the top of his wound. With all the blood, I wanted to let the nurses know who was injured.

People chatted what sounded like far away from me, however I knew they stood close.

I know I had only one last thought before I completely gave into the grasp of exhaustion:

 _I haven't seen that much blood since I last saw, **him**..._

 _And now he's gone._

 **Authors Note: This has taken a lot of planning this chapter and the idea honestly only came to me once I wrote the treadmill scene!**

 **I am so sorry for all the gore and disturbing imagery. I like that stuff! But I understand some of you hold a weak stomach! Again, sorry. I think that's the worst I will make the gore but we'll see ;)**

 **But I can only hope I never messed it up! Please tell me what you thought of this? Was it too exaggerated? Too descriptive? Too slow?**

 **Please let me know! Reviews are always the light of my life (not joking!)**

 **-L.E-Rae _x_**


	9. Chapter 8- A Long Time

**Trigger Warnings: Blood, hospitals, injections, mild disturbing imagery.**

 **Chapter 8- A Long Time**

 **(Laurens' POV)**

White light seemed to rain from above me in some sort of storm, showering me in its piercing rays- flooding through every gap in my being. Words hummed against my ears except it all felt like the were being spoke to me from miles away. Two black silhouettes of people stood out prominently against the blinding, stark white background that all fuzzed into one. My ears rang loud with buzzes until it all dropped silent and those voices became much more audible. My sight however, took longer to adjust in this environment but soon, Lafayette and Lee's persons came into my sight.

"Laurens?" Lafayette spoke soft beside me, "Are you awake?"

"No. My eyes are just open and I'm talking because I'm asleep."

Lafayette chuckled to himself and lent back in his chair, "I don't think I've heard you be sarcastic in a long time!"

I rolled my eyes with a small hint of a smile at my face.

But I held a delayed reaction. _Why am I in the hospital?_

"Why am I in the hospital?" I asked sitting up straighter.

Lee and Lafayette looked at each other in concern.

"Laurens..." Lee started, "do you not remember what happened? With Hamilton and practically the massacre?"

 _I looked down and his arms were violently shaking, the blood over flowing under his weak vice..._

 _"They're here!" He screamed jolting me back a little bit and sending too many thoughts racing berserk in my head. "They're eating at me! I can feel it- ARGH!" He screeched digging his nails into my forearm. "It burns! Fuck! Laurens it's- it's- it's-" He screamed again..._

 _Thousands of tiny red bugs crawling in buried inside the tissue and flesh that enwrapped this poor man... The wound began to spread wider as these tiny monsters razored across his skin stabbing in deeper towards his insides... Thousand and thousands of these creatures plastered against everything I could see on the inside of him... Hamilton's body spasmed as they scratched deeper begging me to make it stop..._

 _He was being eaten from the inside out..._

I gulped. Memories flashed in my mind, zipping by on a race car sending me a little dizzy with its loops.

"Y-yes. Now I remember..." I stuttered. Pushing back into the pillows.

 _Wait._

 _Rapids of blood streaming from his side... Tiny little razor-like creatures eating away at the flesh of his insides... His arms violently shaking... His eyes shutting closed... Hamilton's squeeze on my arm... Hamilton's blood... Hamilton's suffering... Hamilton... Hamilton... Hamilton..._

"Is he okay?!" I blurted out shooting up in my position.

"Yeah, he's all good. We haven't seen him yet, but Elizler says he'll be released in two or three days. He's only just come out of surgery though." Lee spoke.

"Wait, so how long have I been passed out?"

"About three or four hours." He replied.

"Hey Laurens..." Lafayette began, "Why did you pass out? It's not like you get faint around blood or exhausted easily."

"I... I honestly don't know..."

It was true. Even if those creatures were not something I saw everyday, and their actions one of the most repulsive things I'd ever seen, I don't get effected by that stuff... Sure, the whole realisation of what just happened would tier me out, but not to the point of _exhaustion_.

"Hello boys. I see our patient is awake."

I chuckled as the door swung open, "Hello, Elizler."

"Hello there Laurens." She smiled sitting down in a chair the other side of me, "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She smiled again while tying her hair back in a low bun and checking my monitors.

"You look fine." She said and looked up towards the two other men.

"I need to speak the Laurens alone so you two budge it!" She ushered them away with a swift shake of her hand and the two walked away, Lafayette the only one to say, "Goodbye."

The door closed.

I opened my mouth to speak but she beat me instantly to it, "Look, I know you're going to ask if he's okay and, yes, he is."

"I wasn't going to ask that but thank you. I was going to ask, 'do you know what happened to him?', with all the little bugs and- wait. Do you know about the bugs?"

"Yes. We found the eggs of them and only a few which were still alive."

"What _are_ they?"

She sighed and rubbed her hands in her eyes, "They're a mutation between a singular, extremely oversized red blood cell, your common tick and leech. Other things make up its form but the DNA is so messed up I can't find out what they are. They were originally introduced at the start of our war by the Banes and almost wiped half of our population. The General back then met up with the leader of the Banes and they signed an agreement never to use that disease again. We had to hand over at least a quarter of our military weapons... Turns out, they wanted to try it on Hamilton."

She took in a breath and removed some photos from her clipboard what seemed to look like photos of a book. "The disease is called, 'Blood Spot' due to how it only inhabits a particular spot on a persons body mostly near vital organs in the torso. Everyone is different. This bug is also a type of 'Hibernation Bug', so it can stay dormant in the host for as long as it wants to, before it activates. Also, this means that it can be a reoccurrence if not treated correctly. But it is treatable. This mutation hates its original form of a normal red blood cell- and that includes the eggs. So you have to fix whatever damage it has caused and if the victim isn't dead by then, you section off the infected area with metal plates and leave the wound open to soak in blood for the next twenty-four hours. Therefore, Hamilton is now in quarantine, but things are looking up for him. He won't get this anymore."

"What? Quarantine? Is... Is it contagious?"

"My god yes! It is extremely contagious between humans. We don't know about animals and we don't want to find out. This bug multiplies so quickly! One single bug reproduces into around 40 each minute once it awakes! And considering about 100 lay dormant, that's around 4000 a minute! Extremely contagious. Extremely infectious. That's why we've had to close the gym for a week. Everywhere Hamilton bled, needs to cleaned so thoroughly in rich blood. We can't risk another outbreak."

"E-Elizler?" I swallowed to try and keep my breath even, "Do you not realise I was drenched in his blood as well?!"

"Yes but you've been cleaned if you didn't notice. Don't worry, we washed off all the blood. Just as all the staff who got near the blood have been cleansed as well. We've had to take bloods from nearly everyone in the bace other than you, Hamilton and I. Even the General had to donate because of how much we need to clean."

"Okay but... How can Blood Spot be passed along?"

"By entering another persons system by liquid. Either by having the blood enter your body, the holders sharing the same drink, toothbrush, basically anything oral with mouth to mouth contact like kissing."

My brain took a while to process all that mixing up the options into a generator of panic.

 _The blood gushed back out over us both. Squirt after squirt it sprayed across my face, turning my mouth into some sort of metallic lagoon. I twisted my head to the side to spit it away however the taste still remained prominent at the tip of my tongue._

My eyes shot wide in terror and Elizler looked on at me in surprise.

"Oh my god Laurens!" She opened her mouth wide, eyes as big as saucers, "You kissed him?!"

I shot my head around to stare at her, gaping and disgusted at the same time, "What?! FUCK NO! I'm not that fucking disloyal Elizler!"

Her eyes returned back to normal and slightly ashamed with sympathy etching in them, "You can't be loyal to someone who's dead Laurens..."

I turned out of her gaze and stared down at my hair ties I was surprised were still around my wrist. Some skin beneath poked out angry and sore with lack of blood so I switched them around to my left wrist instead, feeling them gasp out for space.

"Well you have to down here..." I almost whispered.

I never needed to direct my attention back to her to feel the empathy dripping off her expression.

"Then... Then why did you react like that?" She asked and I had to look up at her.

"I- I got some of Hamilton's blood in my mouth when the bugs were eating him..."

"Shit! No wonder you were so fucking exhausted!" She exclaimed and instantly ran into the halls to call for help, shouting a load of jargon I couldn't understand.

Nurses and doctors started flooding in with protective suits on and instantly began to push the wheeled hospital bed through the halls and through a doorway which held big letters which read as,

 _"Theatrical Quarantine"_

Elizler ran along beside me strapping on protection gear just like all the others.

"Laurens, we're going to have to put you to sleep for a little bit. I promise you'll be okay. The Blood Spot may be dormant now but it should activate soon. You won't feel anything other than an injection and we'll sort out the rest."

I nodded hesitantly focussing at the calmness in her eyes. We all pushed through a door and I felt hands pick me up to rest me on a new surface.

"Okay, I'm going to inject you now." I could see her bring up my medical file on the big screen, her hands reading along my measurements for doses and pulled out a needle with a bottle.

"Take a deep breath." She walked back over to me, placing a hand to my chest, "It'll all be over soon."

 _"What would they do if they found us out here?" I had giggled placing a hand on his own, leaning into him to cut out the chilled April breeze._

 _Over the rolling fields, the horizon decorated in towering trees. Outlining the edge of my sight, green reflected in the crystal blue sky embracing dots of clouds following each other and flocking together like sheep. They gradually trekked through the pure blanket above our heads, unfazed by anything other than the light wind. Up there, gracefully gliding with new birds on there way home from winter. Sweet melodies calling through the woods and electrifying through the bright grass, illuminated by the burning ray of the sun. I could feel it stroke the tips of my fingers and moisten them with sparks from the splashing mountain stream, speckling with the heated freckles on my arm._

 _I leant my head down onto his own, closed my eyes to capture every detail in the moment. Between the grass, our fingers laced together and I couldn't stop my heart from racing._

 _"I don't care as long as I'm with you." He whispered to me, almost like he never wanted to break the tranquility of the moment._

 _I felt his breathing sigh and he started to slip down until he lay, with his head resting upon my lap, gazing out over the hills._

 _Everything I had with me was perfect. The day was perfect. The weather was perfect. The stream, the white clouds, the sun, the grass, the breeze was perfect. He was perfect. I had complete peace in the world wrapped around me- until out if nowhere, he started to speak._

 _"What would you do if I disappeared tomorrow?"_

 _His question stunned me frozen, my hand freezing, entangled in his hair._

 _"What sort of a question is that?"_

 _"I just want to know. We're all going to die one day so, what would you do without me?"_

 _"But you're not going anywhere anytime soon." I placed a hand to his cheek moving his stare to gaze in my eyes. Beautiful, ivy green lacing in with streaks of woodland brown, all glazed over like newly cut glass._

 _"No one can predict death, Laurens."_

 _"But I can keep you safe."_

 _"We're in a spy agency, Jack. I don't want you to try and keep me safe. You can't keep me safe."_

 _"I can try."_

 _He hid his face in my body, nuzzling into my stomach,_

 _"So what would you do if I was gone? Would you ever try and find someone new?"_

 _"No. Never."_

 _"Ah, you wouldn't try and find someone but what if they found you?"_

 _"I wouldn't let them in."_

 _"I wouldn't mind if you saw someone new, you know. I mean, I'd have to be dead first though! You wouldn't have to live your life alone." He shifted his head to look at me and winked._

 _From then on, we let the wind carry out our words. He fell calm in my lap with each relaxing stroke I gave to his head. He rubbled slow, soothing circles into my thigh, pressing down harder every time I ran my fingers through his scalp. He kept sighing into me with complete bliss in his tone. Soon though, he decided he was going to straddle my lap instead, slamming a hard kiss to my lips that I had to put back an arm to stop me falling over. My spare hand ran through his hair while he tangled his arms around my neck._

 _The love between us pored over in a beautiful rain, dripping thick like treacle, running an adrenaline corse through our veins. However, he pushed me back too far sending us to the bedded grass with a thump._

 _We just drowned in a sea of laughter, taking a while to resurface back to normality. Those bright, luscious, green orbs he had pierced through me almost as warm as the suns rays on that perfect day. My own eyes, trailed up his arms as my fingers delicately tucked some of his golden hair behind his ear, stroking small lines to his cheek._

 _With a calmer sense, he leant down and gave a sweet kiss to my lips. His scent to me was clearer than a crystal lake: minty orange always send my mind spiralling._

 _He pulled off and laid down beside me, my chest resembling a cozy pillow to him._

 _"What if we ran off into the woods. Just me, you and the wonder of what's in the horizon?" He gripped me hand, playing with my fingers in the grass._

 _I breathed out heavily, to resemble some kind of a chuckle, "I'd love to."_

 _"The wind in our hair, the sun beating on our skin everyday... And we'd just keep running. We'd find a small town in the countryside and grow old in a big house on a hill, overlooking a small apple tree orchard, blossom spraying the grounds in spring."_

 _I tightened my grip on him while continued with a small giggle, "We'd get married. Like normal people do Up Top. We'd adopt a child and watch them grow, finding happiness within their world once again. We'd all go on walks through the orchard, picking apples and collecting wildflowers to put in a vase sitting on a wooden dining table. And we'd grow old in this hilltop house. Watching the days go by outside a large window we'd have in our backdoor. Nothing would stop us. We would never have to hide our love from the people we knew because it would be normal to live like that."_

 _His idea spun around in my head while he stopped for a while, I knew not expecting an answer at the minute._

 _"Would you run with me if we could?" He finally spoke with a the tiniest hint of sadness to his tone because we couldn't run. Things like this were only meant to be thought of and not acted upon. Yet the thoughts always still nagged at me..._

 _I didn't hesitate, "Of course. But... we can't..."_

 _"I know... but we can also still dream."_

 _Silence again._

 _"Why did you bring me up here?" I changed the subject._

 _"Why? Do you not like it?"_

 _"No, no, no! I love this so much! I have never felt so calm in such a long time. I adore this."_

 _"...then why ask?"_

 _"Just because you seemed very determined to get me away from my desk."_

 _He sighed, shifting so he sat up next to me._

 _"I wanted to speak with you..." He trailed off. Whenever someone says something like this, it is always a mixture of confusion, worry and curiosity that grasps you. Do you really want to know?_

 _But all I said in the steadiest voice I could was, "About?"_

 _At first, I thought he was shuffling out of discomfort until I saw him fiddle with the pocket in his jacket. I sat up abruptly giving a bit more space between us and even more once he unfolded a certificate, the corners in it slightly worn._

 _I knew exactly what this was. And for a moment, my heart stopped._

 _"I wanted to propose." He blurted looking deep into my eyes._

 _"You- you can't be serious... Are- are you sure about this?" I gaped, utterly baffled._

 _"I am. We've been together for over five years and I have never stopped loving you one bit. Look, I know it's a hard decision to make with you being the new Captain of the top squadron... But I also know we could make this work... Yes, our lives would be more at risk but I know that if we play it safe, we would be happy. You can take as much time as you need to think over this and you can also say no. I know that if you do reject the idea, it's only because do not feel it's time... You have only been Captain for two months now so I get the pressures- I do. You will also be the first Captain to ever be married, especially to their Lieutenant. I know that if you say no it's not because you love me less. I will understand completely. But we have to think about the risks a marriage has on both of us before we can make it official-"_

 _"Yes." The word just fell out of my mouth._

 _"What?" He questioned looking excessively shocked. But I just took the paper away from his lose hold and slowly wrote my curvy signature on the dotted line. His eyes sparkled watching me and I could feel my heart burst from my chest._

 _Was this really happening?_

 _"Yes." I answered him again and myself. Having a smile pain my lips. I shuffled closer to him, putting a hand to his cheek._

 _He was almost flustered with a bright red painting his face, "Wow. Are you sure you don't want to think about this before we-"_

 _Lips on lips, I pressed farther onto him. Our breaths heavy and forceful. My tongue slid inside his mouth: warm, soft and moist. The taste of him became my own, rich and desiring. His hands began the crawl up my chest where mine cascaded at a length through his thick hair, occasionally lightly pulling at it._

 _I wished I could stay like this forever, wrapped in his arms underneath a sky that would never judge. But breaths became too scarce and we had to let go. The aftermath of gasps covered us both and we laughed out of breath, falling back onto the grass holding each other as close as we could._

 _My breaths finally returned, I giggled,_

 _"Yes."_

"How much damage did they do?"

"Well... If we hadn't been there, his airways would have been completely destroyed."

"Do you think he'll wake up soon?"

"He should. If he's still asleep by tomorrow, we'll have to wake him. His coma was forced by us, so we can attempt to shake him out of it too."

I woke again to the bright lights, hums and hazy weakness in my limbs. I attempted to look around but my neck was fixed down to something. Something large caged around it. It was heavy around the edges, but hot, tingling and sticky on the inside.

 _Liquid?_ I thought.

"Speak of the devil." A female voice slightly chuckled, "He's a awake."

Two blurry figures stood beside me- one male shaped and the other female. Within a second all memory came rushing past me and just by the long, black hair, I knew the woman was Elizler- but I still couldn't move my head to spot who the man was.

"Don't try and move your head." She crouched down next to me, "Resist talking as well."

Foolishly, I attempted to ask, "Why?", but instantly, regretted it with a sly stab of pain ushered to my throat.

Elizler raised her eyebrow, "That's why I said not to speak."

I just rolled my eyes but smiled weakly. Elizler handed me a notepad and pencil to write on (well, I presume so).

"I'm going to ask you some questions and you'll put your answers on paper, okay?"

I wrote down a "Yes."

"So, do you remember your name, age and where you are?"

 _"(...) Laurens_

 _26_

 _Liberty's Quarantine"_

"Good. Now, do you remember what happened?" She asked.

 _"Blood Spot"_

"That's right. Do you feel in pain or sore?"

 _"Yes. All around my throat. And what is that thing around my neck? What happened?"_

"Well, around your neck is a restraining metal container filled with blood. The Blood Spot woke up in your throat but we got to it before it could do any major damage."

 _"When will I be released?"_

"I know your throat feels bad now but, tomorrow, you will have that container removed and you should be able to talk again but, you'll also have to stay over another night just to be safe."

 _"Okay. How long have I been asleep?"_

"Two weeks." This time it was the man of who spoke and he also bent down beside me.

It was Hamilton.

And he looked okay.

His hair was slightly messy, his cheeks were a lot more paler that his usual tan and he was in uniform again. A relief washed over me and some tensing, I didn't even know I had in my bones, just vanished. My heart rate finally stopped its rapid beating. The result was that we were both fine, and it would all be over by the end of the week...

 _It would all be over by the end of the week..._

 _"Has Lee trained you?"_

"Yes and Lafayette. I have my final tests in two days. Don't worry, you'll be there if all goes well." He softly chuckled and the room stopped silent, my pen stopped scratching against the paper.

"Look," Elizler began again, "I have to go. Hamilton, you can stay for no more than an hour. Understood? Laurens needs to rest. The sooner you leave, the better."

She stood up, making her way out of the door,

"Yeah, I'll only be five to ten minutes." He smiled and Elizler just rolled her eyes, leaving the room.

 _"So how are you?"_

"Me?" He stopped for a moment, "I'm fine."

 _"Good. Has anymore people caught Blood Spot?"_

"Only three others, but they're all being treated as we speak."

 _"Well... You speak. I can't."_

He chuckled almost into a laugh, "Too true. Hey, are you doing alright with that?"

 _"I'll be fine. I would like to say I've been through worse physically but I'm not sure how bad it was."_

A devilish glint shone in his eyes, "You can't say anything."

 _"That was low."_

He just laughed as dropped the pen to cross my arms tightly.

"Sorry!" He continued to laugh.

After he finally shut up, the conversation started to become a lot calmer and more on a professional level. Talking about training and other things like that.

He got up to leave after around fifteen minutes before stopping in the door way and walking back over to me, an uncertain look on his face.

"Hey Laurens... I never got to say thanks for saving my ass back there."

 _"Well I mean... I did lose two week of my life and a chinch if neck as well... Makes me question if it was worth it?"_

Hamilton just laughed and I smiled towards him.

"I'll see you tomorrow Laurens."

With that, he departed down the hall and soon I let my eyes shut down to sleep with one last thought,

 _I haven't smiled like that in a long time._

Authors Note:The rest of it was okay o guess... but the end scene was really rushed. I've got my first day at school in the morning so I really gotta go!

Leave reviews and BYE!!

-L.E-Rae _x_


	10. Author's Note: Goodbye

Hello, there. L.E-Rae here.

First of all, I'm apologising for making you think there is a new update, but this message much the contrary.

I've been looking back through my profile and having some real guilt issues. I have so many unfinished projects and I realise how bad and disappointing this is, not just for you, but myself and my image as a "writer". So I've been through my profile and deleted all the work I know will never be continued. I kept getting supportive notifications from you all on stories that haven't been updated in more than _two years_. And I hate the fact that I was making false promises and leading you on- so I have put and end to it.

However, there were few pieces of work I just couldn't part from the public. They either mean a great deal to me or to some of you who reviewed. These include:

\- "Loss-t"

\- "You Can't Wake Up a Person Who's Pretending to be Asleep"

\- "I'm Throwing Away My Shot"

Now, later I'll explain why if you want to listen, but for those who don't, here's the short note.

These three stories I can guarantee will never see the light of day again and I wanted to make a sincere goodbye. So, I wish you all the best, but that will be all from me when it comes to these stories.

Okay, so if you want the story behind the all the remaining unfinished fics here you go:

\- "Loss-t" - Okay, this one is still here via the simple fact that I love this AU so much xD There's no big story to it. I just remember that my vocabulary was taught favours during this and I got to understand the Hamilton characters in a whole other way :) Also, the reviews always had me howling! Whether it be from laughter, tears or euphoria! And I thank you for that :) We could have had so many adventures with this... and if you are going to miss this fic, I recommend you read 'notmariah7's' Spy AU "The Union". That is honestly where the inspiration for this story came from. I'm not at all saying our story lines are the same: but you will enjoy hers as much as this (if not more so!).

\- "YCWUAPWPTBA" - Ahhhhhhh. Miraculous Ladybug. Where would I be without MLB? Not here. Not in any fandom I assure you xD This was the first fandom I ever experienced knowing what a fandom is. This by all means was not at all the first story I have ever written for this- no. I took that down at least a year ago because of how SHIT it was xD Like, holy lord above! But... the origins for this story are what made it special. I got my first love at the age of 13. And I asked him out because everyone was saying that he liked me. So I did, and he said yes. But then the next day he broke up with me saying that he didn't want to hurt my feelings. So, I was going through a heartbreak that was not at all pretty and this story helped me share my _personal_ story without having to get sympathy from it. But I'll be happy to let you know that after 11 months of pining and pain- I GOT OVER HIM! _(he's also dating my best "friend" now but OH BOY we are NOT gonna talk about that...)_

\- "I'm Throwing Away My Shot" - And last but certainly not least... here's ITAMS's explaination.

I went threw a devastating depression when I was writing this story and a lot of me makes this up. This story kept me hanging on and taught me so much about what it meant to be a writer. Most of my writing rules came from the growth of this fic. I had _so much_ planned for this one and it makes me emotional to think this is where I leave it behind.

The idea for ITAMS actually came from reading the fanfiction "For the First Time I'm Thinking Past Tomorrow" by ColdInMyProfessions on this site. I aspired to be like her and now, I class her as one of my closest friends. She never actually read this story, but I know I think of her whenever I look at this title. Also, I couldn't be more grateful for you stuck by me threw thick and thin and loved all the characters and my writing (even though we both new that my 12-13-year-old self was not the Picasso of words xD And, tbf, this new 14-year-old has much to learn too.

So, I'm thanking you with all the depths of my heart! Thank you for being on that short-lived journey with me- even if you never really new it xD xxxxxxx

* * *

So for everyone who went through these journy's with me, I thank you. And I know I'm supposed to be good with words but there aren't any to describe how much I love you all. I think it's just a feeling only writer's know...

So, thank you, be safe and enjoy your fandom journey's!

-L.E-Rae _x_


End file.
